8 weeks Little Bean!!!

29^th of January 2011 (8 weeks and 1 day)

Hello Little Bean,

Woah, we are exhausted. We didn’t get to nap today but that’s fine. That just means we’ll sleep really well tonight. My eyes can’t…remain open. I really wanted to write to you though to discuss our week. Can we say that we are miserable? Morning, middle and night sicknesses really got a hold of us. I’m happy that I don’t always throw up, I can at least keep some stuff down there for us. 

So, we agree that our week was not great. That’s fine. I’m so happy to see that you are healthy though. I would go through this anytime for you (but it would nice not to). Yesterday we went bowling with Konrad, Sonia and daddy. We had LOTS of fun. To be honest, it had been a while since I had that much fun. It felt good to go out and move. We didn’t get to win any of the 4 games but it’s okay; daddy won two of them. Then we went to Rockaberry and I think Mommy had more calories in one piece of pie and a milk shake that she has gotten in the whole week (sugar wise). Oh well, no sugar for us this week!

Other than that, I met grandma David today. Of course, she has no idea that you’re in there. I don’t want to tell them right away. I would feel so bad if…well, you know. Bah, forget it! I’ll surprise her for mother’s day or I’ll surprise grandpa David when it will be father’s day. We’ll see. Grandma David was telling me about cute traditions they have in their family. It sounds super cute =). 

Well Little Bean, that’s going to be it for now. Mommy is really really really tired! Oh, by the way, Mommy didn’t forget. Happy 8 weeks!!! Sorry I didn’t get to say this before!! As I explained, bowling and tiredness played a big impact on Mommy. 

Daddy and mommy love you, I bet you felt daddy poking you today. 

Take care Little bean, be safe in there.

Introducing Soleil the cat

January 24^th 2011 (7 weeks and 3 days)

Hi Little Bean,

I hope you are doing fine. I can start to connect to you more and more. Every time I get sick or nauseous I think about you. By the way, this is happening almost all the time now. That’s good!! It means we’re healthy! I know it’s a weird way to show us how healthy we are becoming but I guess it’s better knowing that way than not knowing at all. 

We were supposed to go out today but we really aren’t feeling that great and if we do go out we have to take the bus and the metro… not the ideal right now. So we’ll stay home, do some study and sleep a lot tonight. When we sleep a lot we tend not to get sick as much the next day, so we’ll probably go to bed very early. I don’t think you mind. 

I wanted to write to you today because I totally forgot to introduce you to someone. I want you to meet Soleil the cat. I’m sure you’ve felt him already. He’s the furry thing that sleeps right next to you at night. Sometimes he even walks on you or on my boobies(it hurts!) he is also a major source of heat at night though… and he’s soooo cuteee (as daddy would say). I’m sure you two will get along very well. He likes children a lot but make sure you pet him softly and that you don’t pull his tail or walk on it. Don’t worry though, mommy and daddy will tell you all of this once you get there. 

I’m also sure you will get to kick him a few times before you are born…he tends to sleep between mommy and daddy at night and you might not always like that. By the way, don’t listen to dad when he says he’s not going to sleep in the same bed as we do when you grow up. He says that because mommy LOVES to take a lot of room in the bed and daddy gets very little of it, but he will still sleep with us and we will keep on stealing his heat. 

Well, that is about it for now. I just wanted to make sure Soleil was introduced to you. He will probably become a good friend of yours. 

Take care Little Bean, we love you very much and keep on making me sick- I love to know you’re healthy.

Lots of sweet kisses,

Mommy and Daddy!

Little Bean's sicknesses

21 of January 2011 (7 weeks)

Happy 7 weeks Little Bean!!!

How does it feel to be down there? I bet you’re feeling warm and comfortable. If not, it will come eventually. Sometimes I feel you stretch my uterus, so I know you are making room for yourself. Well, good for you, keep growing and one day you’ll grow up to be a great man or a great woman, I am so sure of that. No matter what happens in life, I want you to remember that you were wanted and waited for. You won the sperm race (I’ll maybe show you that video someday) and you turned out to be you out of all other possibilities. You already fought to live and that’s why I’m sure you can accomplish great things in your life.

As a matter of fact, you’re already accomplishing a lot in my life. You are making me care about someone like I have never had. I really want the best for you and for the family. You are also making daddy and mommy think about more serious things like parenting and savings. We have great ideas and at night we can discuss a long time about what we think is best for you. It’s not always easy. We want to give you everything and every opportunity. We want to be with you though all your successes and your failures. I know mommy and daddy might seem strict sometimes but we don’t want you to commit the same mistakes we have done and we don’t want to reproduce the same mistakes our parents have done. One day you will tell us “why can’t I live my own experiences” and the answer will be “because we know what it leads to”. Trust us, we wouldn’t harm you in any way, I promise. 

We would be bad parents if we just let you go your way. You need to make your own decisions, yes, but you need to think through fully about what you decide. Anyways, you are so young. Let’s not get into this now. Let’s talk about the fact that you are making my body go insane. Did you know Little Bean that you are as big as a “tic tac” mint right now? Yes, that’s small BUT as small as you are, you are causing my hormones to go crazy. I wake up sick and I go to bed sick. I cannot get enough of 15 hours of sleep. I want to throw up, I want to sleep, I want to eat and then I want to throw up again. The circle never ends. 

I was at a restaurant with a friend today, and as I coughed, I threw up all the nice meal we had gotten. Oh well. I guess we didn’t get many vitamins there. Good thing grandma made soup. Also, today was your first visit at the Museum. Of course, you couldn’t see but let me tell you, it was not the best exposition that mommy has seen. Very gore and painful. Not something for a 7 week old like you. 

I think this week was a good week Little Bean, mommy had to leave some classes because she was feeling bad but it was, none the less, a good week. I think that this next week will be full of body pain but you know what, bring it on Little Bean. If it means that you are healthy and that you’re doing good, just keep it coming (I will regret saying this). I’m so happy I got you. Daddy is super happy too. Grandma asked me if I had thought of names for you. I do. Alicia Marie or Jonathan Edward. She liked Alicia and dislikes Jonathan so let’s hope you are a girl. Oh, by the way, everyone thinks you are a girl but grandpa wants a boy. He says he’s tired of living in a girl’s world. I think you’re a boy…

I love you Little Bean, with all my heart.

Mommy and Daddy.

P.S. Daddy is the one who kisses and touches you a lot.

Good news Little Bean!

14 of January 2011 (6 weeks 1 day)

Hi Little Bean!

It’s been a while that I wrote to you, but Mommy talks to you every day. So does Daddy. I feel like Daddy is getting more and more comfortable with the idea of having feelings for someone he has never seen. That’s great! And grandpa is really taking care of us. He gets us all sort of good things to eat; lots of fruits, vegetables, spinach salad, V8 and skim milk. He helps a lot. Grandma is just excited in general as is Sonia. It’s only been 6 weeks Little Bean and I just want time to fly by so I can get to meet you. 

I hope you feel comfy and hot down there. Mommy is doing her best to accommodate all your needs. By the way, I really appreciate the fact that you stopped giving me cramps. It’s kind of you. I know you’re stretching my uterus to get more place and everything, but it sort of hurt sometimes and I don’t mind the pain but I always worry that you’re not doing well. I feel good only cramping once or twice a day. 

Little Bean, you make me so happy but right now you are also making me SO tired. I get 10 hours of sleep and I want more and more. It doesn’t really matter, I should rest anyways. Other than feeling tired, I feel good; nauseous from times to times…but nothing too serious yet. I’m expecting morning sicknesses to hit me like a train someday. Not looking forwards… 

Good news! We found a doctor that will take great care of us. On top of that, his office is right next door. So we won’t have to travel too much. I did some research on him and he looks really good. Everyone that had him thinks he’s great. The only problem is that he won’t be able to deliver you. That’s the only reason why I’m wondering if I shouldn’t get a midwife instead of him. I don’t know yet…we’ll see what happens. Our first appointment is on February 11. You will be exactly 10 weeks! Great no? You’re already growing up so fast…I was looking at google pictures of babies at your age and you look adorable. You’re so precious. 

Take care Little Bean, 

Be safe in there

Daddy and Mommy love you very much!

High risk pregnancy

7^th of January 2011 (5weeks)

Hi everyone, 

First, happy 5^th weeks Little Bean.

Then, I have gone to the doctor today. She told me what I didn’t want to hear. I’ll have a high risk pregnancy because of my weight and asthma. Let’s be honest; I knew that was coming. Being overweight while pregnant can cause serious problems. If you are trying to conceive and you are considered obese, see your doctor before conceiving. 

I don’t regret getting pregnant at all though. To me, this is a great occasion to change my eating and exercise habits. Little Bean is my reason to change. He deserves a healthy beginning of life; he deserves me to care for him and to do my best to have him healthy. 

I’m a little worried, that doctor cannot take care of me and didn’t refer me to any specific doctor. She just told me to call the hospital and that I’ll eventually get an appointment. She also mentioned it could take up to 4 months. So I wonder…if I’m at high risk, why do I have to wait 4 months? What about women who are healthy? Will they wait 6 months or more before getting to know if their precious baby is healthy? I do not understand that. All I want is to know if Little Bean is okay. I was expecting at least a prenatal visit in the first trimester, but if the waiting line is 4 months…there is no way that will happen. I find that sad and frustrating.

I tried calling the hospital as soon as I got home, but they all close at 4pm…so I’ll have to wait until Monday. That sounds like a long time although it’s not. I hope they will let me in before the waiting time. That’s for that…my ranting ends here.

This afternoon, after the doctor, we went shopping for SONIA’S WEDDING GOWN! Isn’t that wonderful? I really enjoyed being back into the store of St Hubert street. They have that magic inside that all brides-to-be have. She tried a couple of dresses on and I *think* she really likes one of the dresses. It’s gorgeous on her and she looks GORGEOUS. I’m so happy that she’s getting married. It’s her turn to live that special day. I’m just SO excited and SO happy. Little Bean and I will have grown a lot by the time she gets married though, Little Bean will be 8 months big. I’m Sonia’s maid of honour, so I’ll need to get a custom dress. We have an idea on what we want, but I have no clue on what color I want to pick. Like, no idea at all. It’s okay. I’ll figure it out before the wedding…hopefully. Hehe. We got home late, and we had guests over, I was SO hungry. Mom looked at me and just told me “you’re so pale looking” I swear I was going to faint if I didn’t eat anything in the next 5 minutes. I’m sorry Little Bean for making you starve a bit. 

Other than the doctor, today was a good day.

Take care, 

Little Bean, we love you,

Carlinha

Much better!

6 of January 2011 (4 weeks 6 days)

Hi Little Bean,

What a nice day!!! Not only we got to go to school but we also got to take a big nap! Yay! So, the class in the morning went very well. No more nausea, no more headaches. I think Mommy was just tired yesterday. After class we went to St-Hubert to have lunch because I wanted to have some time out of school with two of my good friends. Don’t worry; I was very careful in what I choose to eat. I’m trying to make the healthiest choices for both of us. I stopped eating a lot of things since I learned that I was pregnant. I don’t eat anymore chocolate or, as a matter of fact, any other sweets. I dropped coffee and I try to eat more veggies. I hope you end up liking veggies…veggies are good for you. 

So anyways Little Bean, after the restaurant, we came home and silly Mommy didn’t bring the house keys with her because she was expecting Daddy to be home. I had forgotten that Daddy was working. So we went to Titia’s house and we both took a LONGG nap. I also told Titia that I was pregnant. She will be your great grand aunt. Isn’t that great? She’s the one who raised me with your great grandma.

After, we came home and the rest of the night was pretty decent. We stayed home a bit and then we went to church to undo the big native scene that we have done…yes “we” you were already there. 

We love you Little Bean,

Mommy

Bad day

5 of January 2011 (4 weeks 5 days)

Hi Little Bean,                          

Today, you came to school with me. It was our first day and it was not our best day. Mommy had a huge headache in the morning and with the headache came nausea. We were supposed to have two classes today. One at 8h30 am to 11h30 am and the other one from 4 pm to 7pm. We would have had a long break…Mommy wasn’t feeling too good though, the teacher was talking and I couldn’t even concentrate, I just wanted to vomit. At the break, so after 1 hour of class, we came home. I didn’t know how we would make it home Little Bean…I was weak, pale, sick and nauseous. On my way out of class I vomited a lot. I didn’t even feel better. 

The ride home was long…we have to take the subway in two different directions and then the bus for 40 minutes…it was so long. We were fine on the subway but I lost it in the bus. I was sure that I would vomit again, so I got off and walked for a while. It didn’t help. I finally got home and grandma was there. I just went to the bathroom and straight to bed. We took a one hour nap. I woke up to a grumbling stomach and ate a sandwich. I was fine after. Maybe we were just hungry or tired? I don’t know Little Bean but we ended up skipping that last class. 

Today was just not a great day, I wonder if it will always be like today, if every morning will hurt like this. I hope not. I just won’t be able to make it to school anymore. I’ll get a good night of sleep today and see how I feel tomorrow for class.

Take care of yourself Little Bean,

We love you,

Mommy

 Image from Calgary Youth for Life.

Welcome Little Bean!

4 of January 2011 (4 weeks and 4 days)

Hi there Little Bean, (that’s the name daddy and I decided to name you for now because you are very very small) I hope you are doing fine. I’m trying my best for you to grow in a healthy and warm place. Today we discovered that you were there. I was sure that this was not your month that once again I would have my period but I didn’t. I was 4 days late when I had the courage to take that First response test and see if you were really there. I promised myself to wait until the morning before testing and at around 4h40 am I couldn’t wait anymore. After having nightmares of having my period I took the test. I was ready to be disappointed Little Bean, I was ready to only see one line, like all the other times, but this time within 30 seconds, a second line showed up. I couldn’t believe it, I was so happy Little Bean. From that moment on, you made me the happiest mommy ever. When we were waiting for you, I had planned and re-planned a cute way to tell daddy that we were expecting you but I was just so excited that I didn’t want to wait. I rushed to the bedroom and told your dad “Stephen, it’s 4h44 am and I am pregnant!” Poor daddy, he had to start a new job the same day and he was getting up early. He just replied “Congratulations” I’m sure he was happy Little Bean, but he was just so tired. My heart was still pounding so hard and I just couldn’t believe it. 

During the day, I went to the store. I got a few more tests and prenatal vitamins…I also got grandma and grandpa a bib saying “I love grandpa” and “I love grandma.” For Sonia, I got her baby socks. Daddy and I planned on announcing that we were pregnant that night. When daddy got home from work I had a surprise for him. I wrapped the two positive pregnancy tests and gave it to him. I think it made him feel good to know you were really there, that the first test was not defective. It was also good for me to see the positive results. I was blessed to have you. If you only knew how much we prayed, how much we sacrificed, how much we wanted you. I’m sure you will be the happiest little boy or little girl in the world. I’m sure it won’t be easy but just remember that we’ll always love you. That you were not only wanted but also waited for. I’m just happy God finally blessed us with you. You’re already so precious to daddy and me. 

At night, we decided to tell grandpa, grandma and Sonia. I had wrapped their gifts and they opened them all together. It took them a while before understanding it. Grandpa said “I love grandpa? I’m not a grandpa” and that’s when Grandma said “we never know…” and Sonia finally asked “Are you pregnant?” YES!! YES I WAS! Grandpa left, he had a lot on his mind. Grandma and Sonia stayed to congratulate daddy and me. It was a happy night. Grandma was tearing and so was Sonia. Both of them were very excited. Then came the questions. When, planned or not, were we happy, etc. Grandpa was just worried. He was wondering how I’m going to make it. He wonders if I will eventually get my degree or not. He just doesn’t want me to be unhappy. It’s okay Little Bean. Mommy will take care of that. Grandpa will love you more than any other grandpa. You’ll see, he’s great and he can cook very well. He’ll buy you tons of ice creams and take you fishing like he used to do with me. He’s already buying tons of salad, veggies and fruits for me to eat in order to keep you healthy. Grandma is also thrilled. She also worries a bit but in general, I think she can’t wait for you to be here. We talk a lot about you already. We all love you. 

Be safe in there Little Bean,

Mommy

We're pregnant!!!

So, this is it. After 7 months of waiting for this Little Bean, it finally happened. We’re pregnant! I’m Carlinha and I want to create this blog to write how I feel (physically and psychologically) throughout this whole pregnancy. I will dedicate most of my posts to our Little Bean that will, hopefully, be born sometime in September 2011. This is my first pregnancy and it sounds like it’s going to be a high risk one. but I'm very optimistic and I know both of us will make it through. Let the fun begin!