A new star in the sky

To all the little princesses and princes that left this world way too early, family and friends will never ever forget you. Fly over those who loved you and protect them little Princess.

Halloween 2014!

Noah has been wanting for "Halloween" to happen since June. He would watch spooky cartoon videos and ask us when we'd go trick'n treating. So when it was finally Halloween, he was pretty excited and happy.

We decided to go trick and treating in a near by village where they closed a part of the village to make it haunted. There were tons of kids, tons of candies and lots of entertainment. Noah had an Olaf costume and Emma had a princess dress. Noah kept getting looked at and everyone loved his costume, he was so confused though because in his mind he was just a snowman, he didn't see Frozen, so Olaf for him is just a name. Anyways! It was really fun, the kids were excited and happy, Noah would get scared here and there and Emma got tired of walking but in the end it was a great night.

Then yesterday Emma and Noah had a photo shoot and they were also asking questions to the kids with a microphone. Noah was asked if he thinks that there are animals living underground. So he replies "Yeah." Naturally he's asked "which ones?" To which he replies "hippos." We all had a laugh, when we asked him why he had said hippos he replied "Because hippos live under water, and you have water underground." Clever kid!

Nothing else is new to report, kids are growing fast, Emma is enjoying singing a lot, she loved Peppa Pig's songs and Yo Gabba Gabba. She also counts and all, Noah is doing simple additions and letter recognition. Stephen is doing great, me too... Weight loss is also pretty great and consistent.

The subconscious world

Last night I had this dream that left me uncomfortable. I figured that maybe writing it down would help me process it somehow. Last time I wrote here, I mentioned about friends whom you get along with but shouldn't be friends with. Well it seems to be much more on my conscious than I thought it would be. So let me describe the dream...

I was sitting in a dark-ish room with a big round table. I was sitting in the middle, I looked great... I was wearing that purple silk blouse, my hair was all done, I was smiling and happy. Stephen was at my right, my best friend V was at my left, in front of me was another friend A with his girlfriend, on the right corner there was another friend S and his girlfriend and on the left corner were my friends A and V playing cards. We were having a good time. I was mainly observing and laughing, Stephen was holding my hand and laughing too, V was on her phone... S and his girlfriend were flirting, A and his girlfriend were talking to us... A and V were just playing cards. So anyways, the door of the room was open and my phone rang. Before I could answer a friend R comes in and the room goes quiet. All he says is "Carlinha" and reaches out for my hand. I look at him and by the time I'm about to say something he's gone. I remember becoming anxious but the the feeling was soon replaced with laughter and feeling good. R would pop up here in there in the room. There were a lot of places around the table to sit but he would stand up, remain quiet and disappear soon after. He perhaps showed up and disappeared a good 4-5 times... I even whispered to Stephen "he's lost... I can't grab his hand, he's on his own." I Looked at him and it kind of became very vague as a dream... I can't really recall the rest.

Now, let's interpret that... I don't wear purple that much and certainly not silk, but it's a royal color, so I assume I was the center of the attention there, as if it was my table, my group of close friends... Stephen is really my right arm, V, she's always there also. Then there are friends in front of me, I see them all, I see what they're all doing. Everyone is having a good time, I'm even letting in significant others that I don't know all that much, but I don't seem to mind at all. Then when R shows up, it's anxiety taking over, which is substituted by forgetting about it and think about something else. The thing is... you shouldn't get anxious when friends contact you, however R only seems to contact me when he needs help or when he's in trouble... When his life is turned around. I guess I associate him reaching out as something bad or drama entering my life. Then, as my friends know, he's in and out of my life... He hasn't stayed in my life for longer than a few months without us stopping to talk but he's never really absent. As I said, he reaches out when he needs help. So him just saying my name makes me think he needs me but then he just...goes. I really am a person that is always ready to help, but I cannot help people who refuse to be helped or who don't stick around to get the help they need. I guess he doesn't really...need my help, he just doesn't want to go. He wanders around, doesn't talk to anyone, doesn't sit... As if I'm resilient to introduce him or tell him to sit. Finally, Stephen's words just did it... he's lost, I can't help him... He's a grown up, he needs to do it on his own, I'm not a convenience that is around when he needs it.

I don't need friends like that... I don't have time or energy to handle someone I will never be able to help and whom will just hang around when he needs me and leave when he's fine. I'm not getting anything out of it... My friends aren't getting anything out of it, my family isn't... Why are you around? I think it's time for R to go towards the door in my dream and to close it behind him. I'm no longer worried that he needs me, I know he doesn't.

Lesson; listen to your dreams and to your subconscious ;)

Thanksgiving, doctors and family

A week ago we were celebrating Thanksgiving. We had such a good time, lots of happiness, laughter, FOOD, family and friends. It felt so heart warming to see everyone together having a good time. I'm very thankful for my family and friends, for the peace within all of and all the love. I'm also really thankful for all the stability that I have in my life. It seems so natural to some, but stability is so precious and we don't realize how important it is in our life. Sure we might complain that we're following a routine but a stable job, stable life style, stable family... It's really amazing. I'm also very thankful that we're all healthy, so important.

On the same note, I'm really really really happy to say that Emma's vision is doing GREAT. She is really doing good. Her prescriptions remain the same but her patching is going down to 3/4 times a week for 1 hour a week. So that's exciting. She's finally able to alternate eyes while seeing and keep a fixation with her left eye. She was never able to do that before. So yeah, she's doing great. So so happy. 

On a totally different note! I realized something a little sad this past week. I realized that there are different types of relationships and friendships. That you can get along with someone but that it doesn't mean that you should be friends with that person. I guess I discovered that some people are very good at making you feel like they are there for you all the time but that really only show up when they need help or when it's in their advantage to do so. It sucks, big time... Because you know what? You actually feel like helping them because you feel bad for them, but as soon as they feel better, you're out. I guess you just need to focus on the good relationships and friendships and forget the other ones. Sure, be there for people but don't go out of your way for someone who wouldn't go out of your way for you. 

Oh, and how does one wash a blankie without a crisis? And Stephen, baby, I know you will most likely read this, and I'm sorry but you'd look really really hot with long hair ;) You an borrow mine whenever you'd like- and by the way, thanks for making me happy. I catch myself smiling at memories of you and me. 

We're good! Busy bees.

October 6th. I looked at the calendar this morning and it strikes me. What a bittersweet date. I'm still grieving you, but I don't know how to grieve. It's still an open wound that I am scared to close, because then you'll just go. I know I'm not alone grieving you, that does help. My mom called me this morning and the first thing she asked was "Do you remember what today is?" Of course...

On a much more positive note, the week end was awesome, the weather was great and we got to go outside a lot. We went for ice cream yesterday with the kids and I really think it will be our last ice cream of the season. It was really nice, the kids love McDonald's strawberry Sunday... well who doesn't?

I re-read my last post. ha... I don't think I was any less patient than usual, but when Stephen read that post he looked at me and said "where in your cycle are you??" Yup, he kinda figured me out by now. I'm back to my old impatient self now. Coffee does help. *sips*

Anyways, other than that, I went shopping a bit... Got new jeans because all of my old ones no longer fit (YAY!), I fit in a size 13... Which is amazing because just 9 months ago I was an 18. This week promises to be really full. I'll be leaving in the next few days for a couple of days and I cannot wait to see my family. Like...my whole family. :)

Nothing else to report! Except that I made Salmon Tartar yesterday and that it was de-li-ci-ous.

Patience, where the heck are you?

I've been feeling SOO impatient recently. We had a great week end, it was sunny, we went out as much as possible and we still had some time to take it easy and relax while watching a movie but Monday I felt like I was energy drained. You know when you have a crazy week end and when you get to Monday you feel like it's Friday? Yeah well it feels like it's Friday.





It doesn't help that the temperature has been really ugly since yesterday... It's been raining on and off and it's impossible for me to go for a jog or outside exercise even if I'd like. It leaves a great open door for shopping, but it's just not what I want. Ughhhh. Also, the sun has been getting up later and later... When the kids wake up at 6 am it's still dark and by 6h30pm it's pretty much dark also. No sunshine and no nice weather makes Carlinha a dull girl.

Emma has been fussy also. Not sure if she's teething, picking up my attitude or just whinny but dear God... I need patience right now. Coffee and ice cream aren't helping. Wine is somewhat doing the job but I'm not up for 260 calories every day on booze... So rum might be a better option, but it isn't as good with meals... You know? What is a mom to do...

On the bright side; I got healthy and cute kids... And a great hubby, everything is going good and I feel extra blessed... Just really impatient. I'll try to boost my french mix coffee in the morning for an Italian brew... It seems like a smart idea :) Ok... Only coffee lovers or desperate for energy moms will understand that coffee reference.

My baby's 3rd birthday!

I guess I shouldn't call him my baby anymore... When I say "Baby Noah" he always replies "No mommy, Noah is a big boy!' So, I guess yesterday was my big boy's birthday! It was a really nice day. It was sunny and warm outside, it was a calm day during the day and when Stephen got home we went to pick up Noah's cake and we went to pick up Mcdonald's (birthday boy's choice!) We got home, I finished setting up the table and we ate... Then we opened the gifts and Noah was thrilled. He got a Lightening Mcqueen laptop and a towing truck. Emma got a Dora laptop, she's pretty happy as well!!! So my baby is 3... I'm not even sure how to feel. Stephen got home yesterday and after kissing me and all that stuff he asked me "Did you cry today??" I smiled and I had to admit that I did have a tear... or two thinking about Noah growing up. He was my freakin baby... He used to be as long as my forearm! Probably shorter... He's so grown up, I'm SO proud of him...



So anyways, his cake was just a regular vanilla cake with airplanes on it... He enjoyed it but he was really too excited to actually have any. He really DID enjoy opening his gifts though haha. Again, I'm so proud of him. There is really nothing else to say... He's an amazing human being, he's kind and loving. He's also growing up way too fast... That's the story.

Late yesterday we also had a friend come over!! Noah was already in bed (otherwise he wouldn't have slept!!) so it kinda sucked but it was nice to have someone over and get to share a piece of cake with him. I feel blessed to have all of these friends and people around us. Oh!!! And it's been a couple weeks since he had seen me, so the first comment he told me when he saw me was "WOAH! YOU LOOK AMAZING!" Which was nice.. I mean, I'll take that. All that to say; friends are cool and weight loss makes me feel like a million bucks!

Everything else is pretty fine, Emma is SOOOO grumpy recently. It's just a phase but...get it over with already! She's still cute and adorable... So I guess I'll have to deal with it. I'm still going crazy with everything that there is to plan but I feel like I can focus and probably get most of it done this week end... And Stephen has a cold... A man cold, so he's pretty much dying.

Mixed emotions... Sooo many emotions

I feel like I could write a wall of text today... SO much is going on and I feel like I can't tell anyone about it. The feeling you get when you either feel like people don't want to know or that you shouldn't tell people. It's such a weird feeling. You feel happy and sad... Both together, as if they were hugging. Yup, that sounds weird.

So anyways, everything is going well. Lots of recent changes in my life. Honestly, the past week has been filled with surprises and weirdness. I like surprises... and I like weirdness, so that's good. First, business is going really well and keeping me super busy. It's pretty busy and there are A LOT of trades going on right now... That means a lot of transactions and many opportunities for me to mess up, which is bad, very bad. I'm trying to focus the best I can, trying to work on it when the kids are napping and when they aren't too demanding but it's not the ideal situation... Also, I recently realized that one of the problems of dealing with foreign countries is Holidays...  I'll most likely not be home for thanksgiving and it kind of gets to me. I want the best of both worlds and I know I spend all day with Stephen and the kids, but there is something special about being able to have ALL your family together, and I believe that I won't be there and that it's non-negotiable... Sacrifices. When asked to describe how I felt about business in one picture, this is what I sent one of my friends... I feel like biting my foot off lol.

Then, I recently had two people contact me within hours of each other... One if an old friend whom got busy with work and studying. He's doing great, very successful, I was really happy to hear from him. The second one is someone who swore he'd be out of my life. Yeah, it doesn't sound good said that way huh? We both knew we were kidding ourselves though, and we both knew it was coming. So I gave him space, and now he seems to be fine and definitely in a happier place than where he was a few months ago. I know he's found of the saying "If you love someone, let him go, if he comes back, it's yours." Well, he's back, can I claim him as mine now? I guess! Seriously, I'm really happy that he is feeling better and that he decided to keep me in his life. When we talk to each other (which is practically all the time now, because bad habits are hard to kill!) he really sounds happy... It makes me really really really happy. I'm definitely repeating myself... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm glad he's back in my life and that it feels like we never stopped talking. We just... didn't lose anything. He's easy to talk to I guess... BUT (because there is always a but) it's still a stressful situation for many reasons. Hopefully we'll get through that soon.

Finally (and most importantly), I'm a huge mess today because it's Noah's birthday tomorrow. Crap... I remember starting this blog when I was 5 WEEKS PREGNANT. He's about to turn 3... My baby boy is going to be 3. It sort of hit me like a train. He'll never be one again... Or two... Those times are gone, and we have no choice than to go ahead and move forward. I worry SO much. I want to give him so much, I do my best every day to be the best mom for him, I bring him to places I know he would love, I drag him to places I know he'll hate... I care about him 24/7 and I love him more than I can even imagine. It's so hard to believe that he has his own personality, that he is learning stuff on his own, that he watches and mimics... It's amazing. Oh god... My baby is going to be 3... I don't know how Stephen finds it so normal and rational... He tells me "well, you complained for 9 months that you couldn't wait to see him and that you wanted him out, and now you're complaining that he's growing... Make up your mind. Oh hunny... You don't understand women, specially not moms ;) But I love you... I really do. Thank you for being that amazing dad to a 3 year old challenging toddler... Thanks for teaching him terms like excavator and rocks... and all that stuff you're passionate about. *tears* actually, thanks for showing him what passion is... I think that covers it.

Oh!!!! And yesterday I received an overseas package... It felt so heartwarming to receive that package R. Thank you so much, all that you got me is beautiful and I feel so blessed to have people like you in my life. I know you're far away and I'm writing this while looking outside and watching birds flying around and hanging around our bird feeder and I wish that you were either here or that I was there... Really, thank you, the bracelet is BEAUTIFUL you picked all of my favorite colors without even noticing. I know you've said that in your letter, but yeah sending a package to Canada must have bought back nice memories, I'm glad you decided to. xoxo

Mommy's stomach is gone! Well almost!

Noah has this habit of tapping my stomach. I think all kids do, right? I remember that I used to jump on my dad's stomach and make it jiggle, I also used to play with my grandma's flabby arms, so I guess I deserve it. Any way, Noah liked to tap my stomach, jiggle it, stand on it and stuff. I'd tell him to stop and he actually listened (after a few "stop!'s" 

So a few days ago, I wasn't exactly waking up as fast as Noah would have liked, so Noah decided to tap my stomach to wake me up. He gasped and said "MOMMY! where is your stomach???" Instant smile on my face... Thanks Kiddo! Love you!

So, I've been keeping up with low carb lifestyle, then I've also been jogging. I seriously look amazing and feel amazing or at least Stephen says so... And I believe him! 

So just keep on persevering and do what you gotta do! Don't give up!!!

Emma's 2nd birthday!

This past week end was my baby’s 2^nd birthday!!! Wahhhhh!!!!! She’s obviously growing up way too fast.

We celebrated by having family over and by having a nice supper and delicious cake! Nothing else to report! It was really nice to see everyone happy and to see Emma so excited!!! Here are some pictures!!!! Happy Birthday Emma, we love you so much! We feel super blessed to have you! 

Ode to a perfect husband

It kind of hit me recently; I’m REALLY lucky. I have a great family. We had a great week end, we had a great week before the week end… Stephen comes home every afternoon, he’s always there for me and for the kids. So to my amazing husband and to all great husbands out there, here goes a big thank you! Thanks for taking care of us, making us feel special no matter how un-special we feel sometimes. Here is a small “ode” to my husband… And I wrote ode but it won’t be an ode… It’s mainly going to be like a big thanks message type of thing, anyways, just enjoy it Stephen.

Thank you for loving me, for always being there, for always listening, for always motivating and cheering me up. I know you will never let me down, that in the best or the worse you will be there ready to listen to any silly or deeply serious thing I have to tell you. I know you will be ready to deal with any situation as long as we do it together. I just know you are there, and it means a lot to me, because that’s the only thing I need… I need you to be there, and know that I am here.

Thank you for working so hard for us, for giving me the opportunity to stay at home with the kids, to have a stable job and put your priorities straight. I appreciate all your efforts and hard work to give us everything we want and need. I know it’s not always easy, that it’s difficult to work long days and that it’s hard to come back home to a needy wife and two kids. You’re doing so damn good though, you’re so young and you've achieved what people spend all their lives looking for… You’re successful, you’re stable and you’re present… You’re able to jungle everything at once and that means a lot to us.

Thank you for being ALL there for me. I know when you talk to me, when you look at me and when you interact with me in general you are all there for me. I know there is nothing else on your mind, I know there is no one else other than me. I bet it’s not always easy, but you’re all there… I feel like you’re all mine and only mine, and that feels great nowadays. It’s so rare to find a partner that is fully there for you, that always has been and that will always be. Thank you for promising me the future.

I could go on… About how great you are, how smart you are, how charming you are, how generous and how handsome you are… I am just thankful that I found you, I have no idea what I did to deserve you, I just know that you’re mine, and I’m yours, and that’s how it goes… I’m so thankful for all the things you do, for the way you act and for the beautiful family we are raising. I love you baby, with my heart, feet and nose. 

This happened to me at McDonald's... Be the example for your child

I went to McDonald's today with the kids. It's a street corner away and there is a park. The kids love it, they get to play and see other kids while immunizing themselves (ha.)

We walked there, I got a coffee, the kids went to play, everything was fine. It was really busy today but that's fine, more friends as my son would say. Now, my son is almost 3, he's been potty trained for about 2 months and didn't have any accidents since about 6 weeks (day and night!) Now I'm sure you see where this is going...

I'm watching my youngest play when my son comes down the slide and I can see by his grey pants that he pees himself. Other kids that are playing or eating at tables nearby also see that. My son comes to tell me and says "mommy, I peed, sorry. Let's go clean." And he ties to drag me along. At the same time other kids that are about to go into the playground see him and start laughing. My son understands they're laughing at him and saying silly stuff like "he pees his pants! What a baby!!" And then a mom jumps in. Her son was about 8 and laughing at mine pointing him and saying "baby baby!!!" The mom starts saying "this is just gross, I can't let my kid go play in there now, doesn't your son know to go to the potty? You didn't plan ahead and being him to the potty first? If his mom isn't able to plan ahead I understand how he isn't able to say he has to pee before peeing his pants!"

Oddly enough, I didn't get upset. I was mainly astonished. Had she really said that? I replied something like "I find it much more gross that your son is mocking a not even 3 year old and that you aren't reacting." Then we left... Well after telling the staff that my son had peed in there.

When I got home it kind of hit me... My son's behaviour reflected mine, he was calm, realized he had done a mistake, came to tell me, apologized, offered to help me clean. That's what I taught him to do when he makes a mess. That other kid, he did exactly what his mom does. He made my son feel bad for an accident. That's what he's been shown and that's how he reacts in those situations.

So parents, your kids really learn from you. When you're yelling at someone, when you're frustrated, when you throw things, they are watching. Same for when you're polite, gentle, loving and calm. You are their examples, they look up to you every day. So be good!

It’s been a while

It’s been a reaaaallllyyy long time actually. I've been busy, very busy! First Stephen and I took some vacations. We took a week off as family vacations and then he had to go away for a week on a business trip, so I went along and had 5 days of vacation to myself!!! It was great but boy did I miss the kids. That means that both kids are not weaned, and to celebrate the fact that my boobs have been producing milk non-stop for 3 years and are finally retiring, I pierced them! They look awesome. I’m glad I decided to stick with breastfeeding and I’m proud that I breastfed both kids at once for many months but I’m pretty happy that I have my breasts back (to myself anyways).

So that’s that, it was nice, I enjoyed it a lot, we went to the zoo, to towers, to beaches, pools… The kids were exhausted by the end of every single day. Then, when I was alone I took long walks by the beach, read books (almost finished Under The Dome), went shopping, ate at amazing restaurants and drank lots of exotic coffees. It was nice really… Emma also had another eye doctor appointment, she’s doing great. Now she’s being patched one hour a day and her glasses prescription has gone down. That’s great news… Noah is just…talking. He loves trucks, cars… Since I’m learning how to drive, he wants to drive too, he knows his pedals, and he can reach them, sadly he cannot see past the steering wheel, so, we don’t let him drive ha.

Now totally off topic, but I've been working on losing weight for the past 9 months (almost). I reached -65lbs lost… That means I’m under the 200’s lbs and I’m far enough from them that I know I’m not going back up there. I just want to take a few lines to encourage other moms out there trying to lose weight and get back into shape. First, diet is 90% of it. I actually mean those 90% (I’m not making it up) look it up “how much does a diet affect weight loss?” So if you exercise like crazy but don’t eat well… I got bad news for you… You will lose, maybe but nearly as much as you could. So start by your diet, figure out what you want to do as a diet, and take one that you actually enjoy. If you want to have a bit of everything, go with calories and proportion counting. If you would rather give up junk food (and stick to basics), check out paleo, if you want would rather eat a lot but be restricted in what, check out Atkins or Keto… Listen, whatever you want, there is a diet for you, just Google it…

Then, once you’re good with your diet (2-3 weeks to really get established) start working out. It can be going to the gym, cardio, running, swimming… Whatever the hell you’d like. I personally took up running 6 weeks ago.  I am doing the C25K and I’m at week 5 (had to repeat a week.) It really makes you feel great… I’m really proud of myself. That being said, the first 15 days of working out are easy… You’re still super motivated, then your motivation drops… It’s hard to explain but it just does. I’m sure it’s not true for everyone but I know it happened to me and reading about it online confirms it’s more common than we’d like… It’s that phase where you’re working hard but not seeing results… So you feel like giving up. Well don’t… It takes about 12 weeks for you to fully see results, so don’t you give up right away.

So anyways, that’s all for now. I’ll keep on being happy, on raising happy kids, on having a happy husband and on reaching a healthy weight goal. Good luck on all of your mommies out there to reach your goals, whatever they may be! 

Updates, updates and updates!

Woah SO much has been going on! I guess I’ll give a quick update of everything that has been going on recently. I’ll try not to forget anything but really… It could just happen.

So first, Noah and Emma are really getting along; they like to play tag around the kitchen/hall wall. They usually run after each other and change directions when one catches the other. Noah gets very distracted and excited and he was looking behind to see if Emma was nearby and he tripped. He fell head first into a door frame. Stephen was watching them and it didn't look too serious at first since Noah wasn't crying but then Stephen told me “he’s bleeding.” So little Noah gashed his head. The cut was about an inch long and 2-3mm deep. Stephen took him to the hospital and he got the cut glued… He was so proud to come home and to say “Mommy, Noah went to see the doctor.” When I asked Stephen how it was, he replied “it was a bonding experience.” Hahaha…

Next! We've been exploring here a lot…  We went to a neighborhood town, visited some parks there, The kids had fun, we had a lot of fun, the weather was perfect… It was just nice!!!

Then it was Father’s day, the kids and I made salt dough for Stephen, it was nice, he loved it and has it at his office now… We had a nice day in general, went to another park nearby, took a nice walk and just relaxed. We had a nice BBQ after… It was really nice.

Then we had an airplane show… the kids were OVERLY amazed. They also had ice cream… So they were happy, we all know that ice cream equals happiness, right?

Emma and Noah also got to ride a friend's truck! They loved it, Emma is a natural. It's crazy... She was utterly comfortable in the truck, my friend said that his pre-teen had trouble getting into the truck but Emma was just... Getting in there. Oddly enough, Noah didn't really want to go in.

We also went to friend’s houses… Cooked a lot, and NOAH GOT A HAIRCUT. His hair is still long J Yes, I like long hair on toddler boys, so what? He looks REALLLYYYY cute.

I’m probably forgetting a bunch of stuff, it’s so busy recently, we've been passing a lot of time together but outside the house, we've been planning a lot of stuff, travelling a bit and relaxing in between. The kids are growing so fast. OH!!! Almost forgot, I’m definitely getting good at this thing they call driving. I've driven a hybrid, I've driven an electric car, I've driven a manual (I can shift!) and I've driven an automatic (borrrinnng). Anyways! I have two people teaching me how to drive (plus my instructors.) Stephen usually goes “SHIFT DAMNIT SHIFT, Sorry sweety, I love you, SHIFT!” And my friend, let’s call him A, is more of a “Come on, is that all you got? You’re in a 90 zone! Come on, ok ok, break” Lots of fun, two very different people, one who deeply cares about his car and the other one…who… is crazy really, and definitely not a great influence.

Okay! That sums it up!!! Nothing else is new on Carlinha’s life, I still love coffee just as much and I am STILL addicted to shopping!

I sleept in the couch last night

No, not really, but I thought about it. Seriously, who would want to disturb these two... Stephen went to bed before me and this is what happens... where was I supposed to sleep? ha.. I didn't have the heart to sleep in between them, so I made Stephen move over and there. 

Also, here is Emma being a panda on daddy. Daddy is just so comfortable to just to sleep on, seriously!

How to pick the right babysitter for infants

Leaving your children with a babysitter can be extremely hard for you and for your child. The ideal situation would be that you wouldn't need to have a babysitter and that you could leave your children with family or friends that you trust. However we know it’s not always the case. When we moved here it was clear that we had to find someone to babysit Noah. The reason was simple; I had to eventually give birth to Emma and I needed to have a babysitter to take care of him while I was laboring.

So we started looking… And we've gone through a couple babysitters, some really good experiences and some really bad ones. Overall, this is what we learned.

•          Give yourself some time to interview, call references and decide. It’s pretty much stating the obvious but what I mean is that sometimes you need a babysitter for “in 3 days” and you’ll take just about anyone that looks decently fine. You can’t do that. It’s kind of like flipping a dime. You could get a great babysitter or a crappy one. Take the time to interview them, to call their references (DO IT- You’d be surprised!) and perhaps re-interview them if you aren't sure.
•          The first time they babysit, make sure to give them all precision in advance so they can arrive, settle down and start right away. There is nothing more annoying than rushing a bunch of last minute information to your babysitter under 5 minutes because you have to go. Also, don’t leave the babysitter for too long alone. If you are having a date night, check in in between the restaurant and the movie. An alternative is to spend half of your “date night” at home. Get ready while the babysitter is there or something… Just to see how she reacts. 
•          Check in somehow. Obviously not at a time you know the babysitter will be busy but maybe after the kids eat or after bed time. What works best for us is to text. It’s ALWAYS reassuring to hear the babysitter text “Hey, no worries, everything is cool.”
•          Nanny cams, I wouldn't hesitate to put them. Feel free to mention it or not, it is your house.
•          Once you get home, please check your child for redness, bruises, regular breathing, etc. It doesn't matter if they are sleeping, give them a quick look. If something sounds out of normal, please get them checked especially if they have bruises around their heads or if their respiration isn't regular.
• 
  

These are the tips we've had to select a good babysitter. We got lucky and our first babysitter is amazing and we kept her. However, she’s more of a “professional” babysitter. She has a daycare and she is a mom of five… We go drop the children off when we need to go somewhere. However, we also started looking for a teenage/young babysitter to occasionally just come watch the kids 1 or 2 hours and it’s hard to find good ones.

We had a babysitter that would be so “out of it.” She would need specific instructions (exactly what to eat, exactly what quantity, exactly where it is) or she wouldn't do it. We had another two girls who were on Facebook, used our computer (to log in on Facebook) and texted all night. When we came back Emma was in a corner crying so much that he had thrown up all over herself. Apparently she had been crying since we had left (45 minutes about) and she threw up from crying so much. So they didn't want to pick Emma up because she was “dirty with vomit.” Yup… I’ll leave that here. They also lied about their age… So those references, you might really want to re question everything.

That being said, on your end make sure to keep some food on the fridge for the babysitters, water, juice… You know, they do get hungry after babysitting for a couple hours. If you treat them well they will have tendencies to want to come back and babysit with a lot more motivation.

Good luck on picking a good babysitter for your little ones!

Vacations, cheesecake and big surprise

We've been super busy... It was event after event, news after news, seriously it was two busy weeks!! We were in town for a couple days two weeks ago and it was pretty nice. It felt good to be surrounded by family and friends. I was out on my own a lot but Stephen and I got to spend a big part of Saturday and Sunday alone. I got that shopping session I was promised for mother's day too! I was a happy girl. The kids also got to spend time with family and the Grandparents spoiled them rotten.

Sunday night Stephen and I went for a walk, got coffee, spoke about things... The usual. So then I told him "you know, I'm not really satisfied, it's like I want something else to eat, but I'm not hungry." To which he replied "cheesecake?" YESS BABY.

So we walked to Rockaberry, ever had Rockaberry? Have Rockaberry. We shared the regular strawberry cheesecake, nothing too fancy, just enough to satisfy that craving. Then we started doing one of our favorite activities: talk about our future. I think it's pretty basic, every couple does that no? It's like dreaming for 2... or 4! Anyways, so we are talking and he eventually tell me: you know we'll have to move right? Uh huh...

THENNN (huge surprise alert) he tells me... "how would you feel about China?" CHINA? SERIOUSLY??? Yup... So we've been busy. Planning, thinking, preparing... It's at the other side of the world... And certainly not permanent but anwyays! That's the news and big surprise I got for now!!!

This girl is quite excited!

My Irish twins are playing together

Big moment here. Emma and Noah finally started to play peacefully with each other. It took about 20 months for them to get along. I’ll take that… They took turns at riding the horse and at riding the big truck together. They also have this game where they “tag” each other and run around in circles together. When Emma is tired and sits down Noah encourages her to come back and play. It’s really incredible, a few weeks ago Noah didn’t want Emma touch his toys or be near him at all. It’s a huge improvement and I’m very happy about it. I’m quite sure Emma is also thrilled… She finally gets to touch Noah’s toys and be near Noah without him wanting to beat her up (yeah he can get a little violent.)

I don’t have much else to add but it’s a pretty good success. It feels really nice to see them play together and act friendly.

I’m also excited about this week end. We are going back to town! We’re actually going to be there by tonight… We’ll get to spend some quality time with family and I have a great Saturday night planned… So, two good things happening this week huh? I guess it’s just a good day.

Some good, some crazy, some great friends…

Stephen and I were talking just yesterday and he said “Do you think we’ll ever feel old?” Uh, kid, what do you mean old? I already feel like I’m 40 here… Not that 40 is old… but kinda. We feel old… I mean that, we got married young, we had kids young. We aren't at the same level than some 99% of our friends and we’re cool with that… It just feels like we’re much older than we actually are sometimes.

SO anyways, thinking about all of that, I was reconsidering how having kids changed our lives. Our happiness has increased by 90%, our worries by 80% and our friends have been reduces by 70%... Seriously, most of our friends have been gone out the window. Between moving and having the kids, it hasn't been easy. I’d like to mention three of my good friends who remained very active in my life regardless.

First, my best friend, I've met her in high school. We only started talking in 8^th grade when she noticed we wore the same perfume. Let’s call her V. So V and I just connected right away. We met one day and the very next day we were shopping at Eaton center for hours. The next week she came to sleep over and we've been friends ever since. We made it a tradition year after year to go have a fancy supper at our birthdays… The first time we went, it was to 3 amigos, we were 14 and got to order some alcoholic drinks, we were so proud. Our fun ended when we asked for champagne. I’m not sure what we were expecting… we sure didn't look 18 hahaha. We were so afraid that we wouldn't be able to keep up our friendship through college and university but boy were we wrong… She was one of my bridesmaids and one of my first friends to come visit me when I gave birth to Noah. She comes to visit me when she can and we text every day. We are so different and yet so close… She’s rational, very determined and she plans ahead. I’m just an irrational ball of fluffiness and emotions that happens to work out hehe. She’s that type of friend that will listen to my ideas and go like “Ok, It’s not a good idea and I won’t let you do that, go to bed now.” And you know, if more people were half as honest as she is, the world would be very different. Anyways, I love you her, she’s family. She comes to family events, she participates in family decisions, she gives advice like a sister and protects like a mother, and she’s awesome.

My second friend would be another V. We also met when I was in high school. Probably around 7^th grade. He’s older than I am, he was working then. Now this is not the type of friendship where we’d talk and text all day. What we have is much more… different I guess. V and I can go days without texting or messaging but I know that at any time (1, 4, 6 am…) I can just give him a call and he’s there. He’s always been there. When I was younger it was more of a 2 pm message saying “hey, are you working tomorrow? Can you give me a ride home?” Now it’s more of a “Hey, I’ll be at your place in 30 minutes, cool?” Unlike most of my friends, V is more the “quite shy guy” you really have to get to know him to have a good conversation with him. He’s always there when I need advice and he never takes life and problems too seriously. When I tell him about something that I find really bad, he’ll just turn it around and make the best out of it. It’s pretty awesome. He’s also brutally honest… and I mean, brutally. I guess that can be a good and bad thing ha. One thing is sure, I love sending time with him, love all the things we do, all the discussions we have… I don’t often mention him but he means a lot to me.

Finally, there is this friend that I've known for years …and years. A is by far my most… special crazy friend. He’s like a brother at times, very protective and very harsh, while other times he’s really outgoing and friendly. He’s the type of friend that checks on me every day and that makes sure that everything is okay. By my tone of voice or by a simple reply he can right away tell if something is wrong. He just knows it. We’ll spend hours chatting just for fun, talking about silly things but when it gets serious, it gets really serious. He is the one whom I’d go see if I need really radical, no sugar coating, very precise advice. He won’t ever be that friend that will sweeten things up for me. As a matter of fact… He’s made me cry quite a few times but in the end, he’s right and he does know me. When he first met Stephen, his first words were “He’s a good guy, he’ll take good care of you, he loves you, stay with him.” Whenever I do something silly he’ll tell me “Are you out of your mind? Are you seriously doing this? Where can I find you now?” And don’t think he won’t come. He’s also good at spotting sociopaths for some reason… Whenever he tells me “that person is a sociopath” or “that person just wants to use you” he’s right on spot… I love him like a brother, he means a lot to me.

Writing this brings up a lot of emotions… I wish I could be close to these three friends all the time. I miss them a lot… Of course I also miss my family… It’s just really difficult to be away from everyone at the same time. Perhaps we’ll soon live all close to each other again… Meanwhile we’ll just have to keep visiting each other. 

Mother's day

My mother’s day was awesome. I’ll let you know how it went but first I’d like to thank two special individuals for making Mother’s day… Mother’s day for me.

Thank you. Thank you for making me a mother. Thank you for being part of my daily life and encouraging me to be a better person. Every day I wake up with one of you saying “mommy” and I feel blessed. It puts an instant smile on my face and it’s the best way to start the day. You two are my ultimate motivation to do better and to improve who I am. You two are perfect and I am incredibly proud of you. I love you Noah, I love you Emma, my two babies.

Ok, wipes those tears, Mother’s day! Well it started with my husband asking me “Do you to sleep in?” Uh, no… I’d rather get up and take care of the kids!! Besides, they were in a good mood. So I came downstairs with them, made them breakfast and played with them. Stephen got up not too long after. He handed me the two cards he had gotten for me. They are adorable!!! Haha. Funny adorable… Then he made me coffee and fancy breakfast. Gotta love the daddy.

We spent a great day doing activities with the kids and enjoying our day. We went for a walk, got more coffee and he made supper on the BBQ. It was nice… nothing too special happened but it made me feel loved and appreciated by my husband and by my children. It was nice… really.

Stephen also surprised me earlier this week with a kindle! I had mentioned that I missed reading but that it was nearly impossible to take a physical book and read in front of the kids (unless it’s Caillou or Peppa pig the books.) So he just got it for me. With a hot flash pink cover!!!! Woohooo. Then last Thursday he also bought me on a shopping spree. I guess that’s a mix of me loosing 40lbs (WOOHOO) or just him wanting to spoil me. I couldn’t find any clothes I liked, so he told me I had till June 7^th to use my “shopping free” coupon deal. Yup, he’s kinda cool and

amazing.

So to wrap it up, Mother’s Day was great. Last year I remember being really tired and not really enjoying it but this year was definitely great.

Thank you Noah, Emma and Daddy!!!