Patience, where the heck are you?

I've been feeling SOO impatient recently. We had a great week end, it was sunny, we went out as much as possible and we still had some time to take it easy and relax while watching a movie but Monday I felt like I was energy drained. You know when you have a crazy week end and when you get to Monday you feel like it's Friday? Yeah well it feels like it's Friday.





It doesn't help that the temperature has been really ugly since yesterday... It's been raining on and off and it's impossible for me to go for a jog or outside exercise even if I'd like. It leaves a great open door for shopping, but it's just not what I want. Ughhhh. Also, the sun has been getting up later and later... When the kids wake up at 6 am it's still dark and by 6h30pm it's pretty much dark also. No sunshine and no nice weather makes Carlinha a dull girl.

Emma has been fussy also. Not sure if she's teething, picking up my attitude or just whinny but dear God... I need patience right now. Coffee and ice cream aren't helping. Wine is somewhat doing the job but I'm not up for 260 calories every day on booze... So rum might be a better option, but it isn't as good with meals... You know? What is a mom to do...

On the bright side; I got healthy and cute kids... And a great hubby, everything is going good and I feel extra blessed... Just really impatient. I'll try to boost my french mix coffee in the morning for an Italian brew... It seems like a smart idea :) Ok... Only coffee lovers or desperate for energy moms will understand that coffee reference.

My baby's 3rd birthday!

I guess I shouldn't call him my baby anymore... When I say "Baby Noah" he always replies "No mommy, Noah is a big boy!' So, I guess yesterday was my big boy's birthday! It was a really nice day. It was sunny and warm outside, it was a calm day during the day and when Stephen got home we went to pick up Noah's cake and we went to pick up Mcdonald's (birthday boy's choice!) We got home, I finished setting up the table and we ate... Then we opened the gifts and Noah was thrilled. He got a Lightening Mcqueen laptop and a towing truck. Emma got a Dora laptop, she's pretty happy as well!!! So my baby is 3... I'm not even sure how to feel. Stephen got home yesterday and after kissing me and all that stuff he asked me "Did you cry today??" I smiled and I had to admit that I did have a tear... or two thinking about Noah growing up. He was my freakin baby... He used to be as long as my forearm! Probably shorter... He's so grown up, I'm SO proud of him...



So anyways, his cake was just a regular vanilla cake with airplanes on it... He enjoyed it but he was really too excited to actually have any. He really DID enjoy opening his gifts though haha. Again, I'm so proud of him. There is really nothing else to say... He's an amazing human being, he's kind and loving. He's also growing up way too fast... That's the story.

Late yesterday we also had a friend come over!! Noah was already in bed (otherwise he wouldn't have slept!!) so it kinda sucked but it was nice to have someone over and get to share a piece of cake with him. I feel blessed to have all of these friends and people around us. Oh!!! And it's been a couple weeks since he had seen me, so the first comment he told me when he saw me was "WOAH! YOU LOOK AMAZING!" Which was nice.. I mean, I'll take that. All that to say; friends are cool and weight loss makes me feel like a million bucks!

Everything else is pretty fine, Emma is SOOOO grumpy recently. It's just a phase but...get it over with already! She's still cute and adorable... So I guess I'll have to deal with it. I'm still going crazy with everything that there is to plan but I feel like I can focus and probably get most of it done this week end... And Stephen has a cold... A man cold, so he's pretty much dying.

Mixed emotions... Sooo many emotions

I feel like I could write a wall of text today... SO much is going on and I feel like I can't tell anyone about it. The feeling you get when you either feel like people don't want to know or that you shouldn't tell people. It's such a weird feeling. You feel happy and sad... Both together, as if they were hugging. Yup, that sounds weird.

So anyways, everything is going well. Lots of recent changes in my life. Honestly, the past week has been filled with surprises and weirdness. I like surprises... and I like weirdness, so that's good. First, business is going really well and keeping me super busy. It's pretty busy and there are A LOT of trades going on right now... That means a lot of transactions and many opportunities for me to mess up, which is bad, very bad. I'm trying to focus the best I can, trying to work on it when the kids are napping and when they aren't too demanding but it's not the ideal situation... Also, I recently realized that one of the problems of dealing with foreign countries is Holidays...  I'll most likely not be home for thanksgiving and it kind of gets to me. I want the best of both worlds and I know I spend all day with Stephen and the kids, but there is something special about being able to have ALL your family together, and I believe that I won't be there and that it's non-negotiable... Sacrifices. When asked to describe how I felt about business in one picture, this is what I sent one of my friends... I feel like biting my foot off lol.

Then, I recently had two people contact me within hours of each other... One if an old friend whom got busy with work and studying. He's doing great, very successful, I was really happy to hear from him. The second one is someone who swore he'd be out of my life. Yeah, it doesn't sound good said that way huh? We both knew we were kidding ourselves though, and we both knew it was coming. So I gave him space, and now he seems to be fine and definitely in a happier place than where he was a few months ago. I know he's found of the saying "If you love someone, let him go, if he comes back, it's yours." Well, he's back, can I claim him as mine now? I guess! Seriously, I'm really happy that he is feeling better and that he decided to keep me in his life. When we talk to each other (which is practically all the time now, because bad habits are hard to kill!) he really sounds happy... It makes me really really really happy. I'm definitely repeating myself... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm glad he's back in my life and that it feels like we never stopped talking. We just... didn't lose anything. He's easy to talk to I guess... BUT (because there is always a but) it's still a stressful situation for many reasons. Hopefully we'll get through that soon.

Finally (and most importantly), I'm a huge mess today because it's Noah's birthday tomorrow. Crap... I remember starting this blog when I was 5 WEEKS PREGNANT. He's about to turn 3... My baby boy is going to be 3. It sort of hit me like a train. He'll never be one again... Or two... Those times are gone, and we have no choice than to go ahead and move forward. I worry SO much. I want to give him so much, I do my best every day to be the best mom for him, I bring him to places I know he would love, I drag him to places I know he'll hate... I care about him 24/7 and I love him more than I can even imagine. It's so hard to believe that he has his own personality, that he is learning stuff on his own, that he watches and mimics... It's amazing. Oh god... My baby is going to be 3... I don't know how Stephen finds it so normal and rational... He tells me "well, you complained for 9 months that you couldn't wait to see him and that you wanted him out, and now you're complaining that he's growing... Make up your mind. Oh hunny... You don't understand women, specially not moms ;) But I love you... I really do. Thank you for being that amazing dad to a 3 year old challenging toddler... Thanks for teaching him terms like excavator and rocks... and all that stuff you're passionate about. *tears* actually, thanks for showing him what passion is... I think that covers it.

Oh!!!! And yesterday I received an overseas package... It felt so heartwarming to receive that package R. Thank you so much, all that you got me is beautiful and I feel so blessed to have people like you in my life. I know you're far away and I'm writing this while looking outside and watching birds flying around and hanging around our bird feeder and I wish that you were either here or that I was there... Really, thank you, the bracelet is BEAUTIFUL you picked all of my favorite colors without even noticing. I know you've said that in your letter, but yeah sending a package to Canada must have bought back nice memories, I'm glad you decided to. xoxo

Mommy's stomach is gone! Well almost!

Noah has this habit of tapping my stomach. I think all kids do, right? I remember that I used to jump on my dad's stomach and make it jiggle, I also used to play with my grandma's flabby arms, so I guess I deserve it. Any way, Noah liked to tap my stomach, jiggle it, stand on it and stuff. I'd tell him to stop and he actually listened (after a few "stop!'s" 

So a few days ago, I wasn't exactly waking up as fast as Noah would have liked, so Noah decided to tap my stomach to wake me up. He gasped and said "MOMMY! where is your stomach???" Instant smile on my face... Thanks Kiddo! Love you!

So, I've been keeping up with low carb lifestyle, then I've also been jogging. I seriously look amazing and feel amazing or at least Stephen says so... And I believe him! 

So just keep on persevering and do what you gotta do! Don't give up!!!

Emma's 2nd birthday!

This past week end was my baby’s 2^nd birthday!!! Wahhhhh!!!!! She’s obviously growing up way too fast.

We celebrated by having family over and by having a nice supper and delicious cake! Nothing else to report! It was really nice to see everyone happy and to see Emma so excited!!! Here are some pictures!!!! Happy Birthday Emma, we love you so much! We feel super blessed to have you! 

Ode to a perfect husband

It kind of hit me recently; I’m REALLY lucky. I have a great family. We had a great week end, we had a great week before the week end… Stephen comes home every afternoon, he’s always there for me and for the kids. So to my amazing husband and to all great husbands out there, here goes a big thank you! Thanks for taking care of us, making us feel special no matter how un-special we feel sometimes. Here is a small “ode” to my husband… And I wrote ode but it won’t be an ode… It’s mainly going to be like a big thanks message type of thing, anyways, just enjoy it Stephen.

Thank you for loving me, for always being there, for always listening, for always motivating and cheering me up. I know you will never let me down, that in the best or the worse you will be there ready to listen to any silly or deeply serious thing I have to tell you. I know you will be ready to deal with any situation as long as we do it together. I just know you are there, and it means a lot to me, because that’s the only thing I need… I need you to be there, and know that I am here.

Thank you for working so hard for us, for giving me the opportunity to stay at home with the kids, to have a stable job and put your priorities straight. I appreciate all your efforts and hard work to give us everything we want and need. I know it’s not always easy, that it’s difficult to work long days and that it’s hard to come back home to a needy wife and two kids. You’re doing so damn good though, you’re so young and you've achieved what people spend all their lives looking for… You’re successful, you’re stable and you’re present… You’re able to jungle everything at once and that means a lot to us.

Thank you for being ALL there for me. I know when you talk to me, when you look at me and when you interact with me in general you are all there for me. I know there is nothing else on your mind, I know there is no one else other than me. I bet it’s not always easy, but you’re all there… I feel like you’re all mine and only mine, and that feels great nowadays. It’s so rare to find a partner that is fully there for you, that always has been and that will always be. Thank you for promising me the future.

I could go on… About how great you are, how smart you are, how charming you are, how generous and how handsome you are… I am just thankful that I found you, I have no idea what I did to deserve you, I just know that you’re mine, and I’m yours, and that’s how it goes… I’m so thankful for all the things you do, for the way you act and for the beautiful family we are raising. I love you baby, with my heart, feet and nose. 

This happened to me at McDonald's... Be the example for your child

I went to McDonald's today with the kids. It's a street corner away and there is a park. The kids love it, they get to play and see other kids while immunizing themselves (ha.)

We walked there, I got a coffee, the kids went to play, everything was fine. It was really busy today but that's fine, more friends as my son would say. Now, my son is almost 3, he's been potty trained for about 2 months and didn't have any accidents since about 6 weeks (day and night!) Now I'm sure you see where this is going...

I'm watching my youngest play when my son comes down the slide and I can see by his grey pants that he pees himself. Other kids that are playing or eating at tables nearby also see that. My son comes to tell me and says "mommy, I peed, sorry. Let's go clean." And he ties to drag me along. At the same time other kids that are about to go into the playground see him and start laughing. My son understands they're laughing at him and saying silly stuff like "he pees his pants! What a baby!!" And then a mom jumps in. Her son was about 8 and laughing at mine pointing him and saying "baby baby!!!" The mom starts saying "this is just gross, I can't let my kid go play in there now, doesn't your son know to go to the potty? You didn't plan ahead and being him to the potty first? If his mom isn't able to plan ahead I understand how he isn't able to say he has to pee before peeing his pants!"

Oddly enough, I didn't get upset. I was mainly astonished. Had she really said that? I replied something like "I find it much more gross that your son is mocking a not even 3 year old and that you aren't reacting." Then we left... Well after telling the staff that my son had peed in there.

When I got home it kind of hit me... My son's behaviour reflected mine, he was calm, realized he had done a mistake, came to tell me, apologized, offered to help me clean. That's what I taught him to do when he makes a mess. That other kid, he did exactly what his mom does. He made my son feel bad for an accident. That's what he's been shown and that's how he reacts in those situations.

So parents, your kids really learn from you. When you're yelling at someone, when you're frustrated, when you throw things, they are watching. Same for when you're polite, gentle, loving and calm. You are their examples, they look up to you every day. So be good!