How to pick the right babysitter for infants

Leaving your children with a babysitter can be extremely hard for you and for your child. The ideal situation would be that you wouldn't need to have a babysitter and that you could leave your children with family or friends that you trust. However we know it’s not always the case. When we moved here it was clear that we had to find someone to babysit Noah. The reason was simple; I had to eventually give birth to Emma and I needed to have a babysitter to take care of him while I was laboring.

So we started looking… And we've gone through a couple babysitters, some really good experiences and some really bad ones. Overall, this is what we learned.

•          Give yourself some time to interview, call references and decide. It’s pretty much stating the obvious but what I mean is that sometimes you need a babysitter for “in 3 days” and you’ll take just about anyone that looks decently fine. You can’t do that. It’s kind of like flipping a dime. You could get a great babysitter or a crappy one. Take the time to interview them, to call their references (DO IT- You’d be surprised!) and perhaps re-interview them if you aren't sure.
•          The first time they babysit, make sure to give them all precision in advance so they can arrive, settle down and start right away. There is nothing more annoying than rushing a bunch of last minute information to your babysitter under 5 minutes because you have to go. Also, don’t leave the babysitter for too long alone. If you are having a date night, check in in between the restaurant and the movie. An alternative is to spend half of your “date night” at home. Get ready while the babysitter is there or something… Just to see how she reacts. 
•          Check in somehow. Obviously not at a time you know the babysitter will be busy but maybe after the kids eat or after bed time. What works best for us is to text. It’s ALWAYS reassuring to hear the babysitter text “Hey, no worries, everything is cool.”
•          Nanny cams, I wouldn't hesitate to put them. Feel free to mention it or not, it is your house.
•          Once you get home, please check your child for redness, bruises, regular breathing, etc. It doesn't matter if they are sleeping, give them a quick look. If something sounds out of normal, please get them checked especially if they have bruises around their heads or if their respiration isn't regular.
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These are the tips we've had to select a good babysitter. We got lucky and our first babysitter is amazing and we kept her. However, she’s more of a “professional” babysitter. She has a daycare and she is a mom of five… We go drop the children off when we need to go somewhere. However, we also started looking for a teenage/young babysitter to occasionally just come watch the kids 1 or 2 hours and it’s hard to find good ones.

We had a babysitter that would be so “out of it.” She would need specific instructions (exactly what to eat, exactly what quantity, exactly where it is) or she wouldn't do it. We had another two girls who were on Facebook, used our computer (to log in on Facebook) and texted all night. When we came back Emma was in a corner crying so much that he had thrown up all over herself. Apparently she had been crying since we had left (45 minutes about) and she threw up from crying so much. So they didn't want to pick Emma up because she was “dirty with vomit.” Yup… I’ll leave that here. They also lied about their age… So those references, you might really want to re question everything.

That being said, on your end make sure to keep some food on the fridge for the babysitters, water, juice… You know, they do get hungry after babysitting for a couple hours. If you treat them well they will have tendencies to want to come back and babysit with a lot more motivation.

Good luck on picking a good babysitter for your little ones!

Vacations, cheesecake and big surprise

We've been super busy... It was event after event, news after news, seriously it was two busy weeks!! We were in town for a couple days two weeks ago and it was pretty nice. It felt good to be surrounded by family and friends. I was out on my own a lot but Stephen and I got to spend a big part of Saturday and Sunday alone. I got that shopping session I was promised for mother's day too! I was a happy girl. The kids also got to spend time with family and the Grandparents spoiled them rotten.

Sunday night Stephen and I went for a walk, got coffee, spoke about things... The usual. So then I told him "you know, I'm not really satisfied, it's like I want something else to eat, but I'm not hungry." To which he replied "cheesecake?" YESS BABY.

So we walked to Rockaberry, ever had Rockaberry? Have Rockaberry. We shared the regular strawberry cheesecake, nothing too fancy, just enough to satisfy that craving. Then we started doing one of our favorite activities: talk about our future. I think it's pretty basic, every couple does that no? It's like dreaming for 2... or 4! Anyways, so we are talking and he eventually tell me: you know we'll have to move right? Uh huh...

THENNN (huge surprise alert) he tells me... "how would you feel about China?" CHINA? SERIOUSLY??? Yup... So we've been busy. Planning, thinking, preparing... It's at the other side of the world... And certainly not permanent but anwyays! That's the news and big surprise I got for now!!!

This girl is quite excited!

My Irish twins are playing together

Big moment here. Emma and Noah finally started to play peacefully with each other. It took about 20 months for them to get along. I’ll take that… They took turns at riding the horse and at riding the big truck together. They also have this game where they “tag” each other and run around in circles together. When Emma is tired and sits down Noah encourages her to come back and play. It’s really incredible, a few weeks ago Noah didn’t want Emma touch his toys or be near him at all. It’s a huge improvement and I’m very happy about it. I’m quite sure Emma is also thrilled… She finally gets to touch Noah’s toys and be near Noah without him wanting to beat her up (yeah he can get a little violent.)

I don’t have much else to add but it’s a pretty good success. It feels really nice to see them play together and act friendly.

I’m also excited about this week end. We are going back to town! We’re actually going to be there by tonight… We’ll get to spend some quality time with family and I have a great Saturday night planned… So, two good things happening this week huh? I guess it’s just a good day.

Some good, some crazy, some great friends…

Stephen and I were talking just yesterday and he said “Do you think we’ll ever feel old?” Uh, kid, what do you mean old? I already feel like I’m 40 here… Not that 40 is old… but kinda. We feel old… I mean that, we got married young, we had kids young. We aren't at the same level than some 99% of our friends and we’re cool with that… It just feels like we’re much older than we actually are sometimes.

SO anyways, thinking about all of that, I was reconsidering how having kids changed our lives. Our happiness has increased by 90%, our worries by 80% and our friends have been reduces by 70%... Seriously, most of our friends have been gone out the window. Between moving and having the kids, it hasn't been easy. I’d like to mention three of my good friends who remained very active in my life regardless.

First, my best friend, I've met her in high school. We only started talking in 8^th grade when she noticed we wore the same perfume. Let’s call her V. So V and I just connected right away. We met one day and the very next day we were shopping at Eaton center for hours. The next week she came to sleep over and we've been friends ever since. We made it a tradition year after year to go have a fancy supper at our birthdays… The first time we went, it was to 3 amigos, we were 14 and got to order some alcoholic drinks, we were so proud. Our fun ended when we asked for champagne. I’m not sure what we were expecting… we sure didn't look 18 hahaha. We were so afraid that we wouldn't be able to keep up our friendship through college and university but boy were we wrong… She was one of my bridesmaids and one of my first friends to come visit me when I gave birth to Noah. She comes to visit me when she can and we text every day. We are so different and yet so close… She’s rational, very determined and she plans ahead. I’m just an irrational ball of fluffiness and emotions that happens to work out hehe. She’s that type of friend that will listen to my ideas and go like “Ok, It’s not a good idea and I won’t let you do that, go to bed now.” And you know, if more people were half as honest as she is, the world would be very different. Anyways, I love you her, she’s family. She comes to family events, she participates in family decisions, she gives advice like a sister and protects like a mother, and she’s awesome.

My second friend would be another V. We also met when I was in high school. Probably around 7^th grade. He’s older than I am, he was working then. Now this is not the type of friendship where we’d talk and text all day. What we have is much more… different I guess. V and I can go days without texting or messaging but I know that at any time (1, 4, 6 am…) I can just give him a call and he’s there. He’s always been there. When I was younger it was more of a 2 pm message saying “hey, are you working tomorrow? Can you give me a ride home?” Now it’s more of a “Hey, I’ll be at your place in 30 minutes, cool?” Unlike most of my friends, V is more the “quite shy guy” you really have to get to know him to have a good conversation with him. He’s always there when I need advice and he never takes life and problems too seriously. When I tell him about something that I find really bad, he’ll just turn it around and make the best out of it. It’s pretty awesome. He’s also brutally honest… and I mean, brutally. I guess that can be a good and bad thing ha. One thing is sure, I love sending time with him, love all the things we do, all the discussions we have… I don’t often mention him but he means a lot to me.

Finally, there is this friend that I've known for years …and years. A is by far my most… special crazy friend. He’s like a brother at times, very protective and very harsh, while other times he’s really outgoing and friendly. He’s the type of friend that checks on me every day and that makes sure that everything is okay. By my tone of voice or by a simple reply he can right away tell if something is wrong. He just knows it. We’ll spend hours chatting just for fun, talking about silly things but when it gets serious, it gets really serious. He is the one whom I’d go see if I need really radical, no sugar coating, very precise advice. He won’t ever be that friend that will sweeten things up for me. As a matter of fact… He’s made me cry quite a few times but in the end, he’s right and he does know me. When he first met Stephen, his first words were “He’s a good guy, he’ll take good care of you, he loves you, stay with him.” Whenever I do something silly he’ll tell me “Are you out of your mind? Are you seriously doing this? Where can I find you now?” And don’t think he won’t come. He’s also good at spotting sociopaths for some reason… Whenever he tells me “that person is a sociopath” or “that person just wants to use you” he’s right on spot… I love him like a brother, he means a lot to me.

Writing this brings up a lot of emotions… I wish I could be close to these three friends all the time. I miss them a lot… Of course I also miss my family… It’s just really difficult to be away from everyone at the same time. Perhaps we’ll soon live all close to each other again… Meanwhile we’ll just have to keep visiting each other. 

Mother's day

My mother’s day was awesome. I’ll let you know how it went but first I’d like to thank two special individuals for making Mother’s day… Mother’s day for me.

Thank you. Thank you for making me a mother. Thank you for being part of my daily life and encouraging me to be a better person. Every day I wake up with one of you saying “mommy” and I feel blessed. It puts an instant smile on my face and it’s the best way to start the day. You two are my ultimate motivation to do better and to improve who I am. You two are perfect and I am incredibly proud of you. I love you Noah, I love you Emma, my two babies.

Ok, wipes those tears, Mother’s day! Well it started with my husband asking me “Do you to sleep in?” Uh, no… I’d rather get up and take care of the kids!! Besides, they were in a good mood. So I came downstairs with them, made them breakfast and played with them. Stephen got up not too long after. He handed me the two cards he had gotten for me. They are adorable!!! Haha. Funny adorable… Then he made me coffee and fancy breakfast. Gotta love the daddy.

We spent a great day doing activities with the kids and enjoying our day. We went for a walk, got more coffee and he made supper on the BBQ. It was nice… nothing too special happened but it made me feel loved and appreciated by my husband and by my children. It was nice… really.

Stephen also surprised me earlier this week with a kindle! I had mentioned that I missed reading but that it was nearly impossible to take a physical book and read in front of the kids (unless it’s Caillou or Peppa pig the books.) So he just got it for me. With a hot flash pink cover!!!! Woohooo. Then last Thursday he also bought me on a shopping spree. I guess that’s a mix of me loosing 40lbs (WOOHOO) or just him wanting to spoil me. I couldn’t find any clothes I liked, so he told me I had till June 7^th to use my “shopping free” coupon deal. Yup, he’s kinda cool and

amazing.

So to wrap it up, Mother’s Day was great. Last year I remember being really tired and not really enjoying it but this year was definitely great.

Thank you Noah, Emma and Daddy!!! 

Babi Ovulation strips- review and tips

When I gave birth to Emma, we didn't exactly want more children after. My doctor asked me what type of birth control I was on before having Noah… Errrr, basal body temperature? I mean, that’s a birth control method, right? Well, if you mention that to some people they’ll probably think you’re crazy… and a friend of mine conceived her three kids while on BBT so… I guess it does fail huh? Now here is what you want to understand, after having two babies that are 11 months a part, you REALLY don’t want another child right away. So, BBT was sort of scary. I mean, it worked for 7 years but there was no way I was taking the chance that it wouldn't work now.

So, what to do? I did like the idea of charting and taking my temperature but let’s be honest, for BBT to work you need to get at least 4 hours of restful sleep. NOPE. So we decided to start using ovulation strips along with body language. We started shopping online for ovulation strips and we found the the Babi ovulation strips. They were quite cheap (100 for 25$ on amazon) so we decided to give them a try. Turns out we love them… They give a precise and good result. Technically, they are all you need to know when you ovulate. Here are some tips that I use that could help you…

•       Read the instructions. Seriously all that I’m saying in here is probably written down on the instructions.
•   Don’t use your morning or concentrated pee, but don’t use too diluted pee either. Ideally, the instructions say to use urine from 10 am to 2pm. I guess that’s when your pee is ideal? Anyways, pee into a little cup (I use a baby food jar). Then, dip the tip of the ovulation strip into the urine (don’t go past the “max” sign) and count 10 seconds. Take it out and let it rest on the wrapper for 10 minutes.
•  After 10 minutes, you should read a result. I personally don’t think the first time you take an ovulation test you’ll know what you’re looking for. Most of the time there is always a line. It’s not like a pregnancy test; the slightest line does NOT mean you are ovulation. What you need to look for is the darkness of the line. If you are about to ovulate, the line will be as dark as the control line or darker

•            My advice is to start your ovulation strips 7 days after your period start and to keep going until you see the line go very dark AND light (just like in my picture.) Eventually you’ll get the hang of it and you’ll see that your test becomes positive at day X or Y. If it’s always the same day, you’re hooked.
•          On that same note, I’d encourage you to track your cycles on a fertility website or by hand. I use fertility friend.
•          Ok, and here is the REALLY TRICKY part. Usually fertility strips are used for trying to conceive. So, technically, it tells you when it’s OK and good to have sex in order to get pregnant. When you see those two dark lines, it means that you will ovulate in 24 to 48 hours. Now, sperm lives up to 5 days… So, say you are waiting for the two dark lines to stop having sex, screwed. Wise advice: if you are trying to conceive aka team yay baby: have sex all the time, specially a day or two before ovulation. If you are avoiding getting pregnant, aka team No thanks baby: don’t have intercourse (or figure a way to) until you get your strip confirmation that you are ovulating. Then, wait a good 3 days, and have sex.
•        Said this way it sounds super scary and complex but really it isn't. Once you get the hang of it, you’ll be like “yes we can do it” or “Mehhh why don’t we just cuddle huuuh?” Seriously, you get used to it easily.

Those are my tips. It’s been working really well for us and I honestly can’t wait to get my full 4 hours of sleep for me to be able to redo the BBT but for now, that’s how we do it. Anyways, it’s worth a try… It’s really cool to see how your body works. 

Bye Bye Soleil

Last Thursday we had to give our cat away. We really had to. It broke our hearts and we miss him a lot. It wasn't an easy decision but we had been thinking about it for a long time and we finally agreed that it was the best decision for everyone.

We got Soleil when he was 6 months old. We still lived with my parents and we got it on a spur of the moment. We just went shopping and we got into a pet store, I saw some dogs and we ALMOST got a pug, but they had to be operated for their noses and I decided that I wanted a pet *now.* Those who know me, know that when I want something, really want something, it has to be now and then. So, Stephen spotted two Abyssinian red cats. They were REALLY beautiful. We started playing with one of them and my heart melted on the spot. We bought it right away.

We got home and showed my parents the “surprise.” God they hated that cat… They found it too skinny or too shy… too affectionate or too active. Anyways, after a couple of days, they were in love. Soleil was a really lovely cat. He needed A LOT of attention. He was also very revengeful. When things didn't go his way he’d pee on the clothes of whoever gave him a hard time. My closet must have been peed on at least 2 or 3 times.

Soleil was our baby. We loved him so much and he was definitely part of the family. About 3 years after getting him, I got pregnant with Noah. Soleil wasn't bad at all. He was great actually.  No signs of jealousy when we made the nursery or when we bought baby stuff. He was actually very friendly. Then, I gave birth,  he was still Ok. He wouldn't come to Stephen or to me as much as he used to. He would prefer to go see my parents. He did head bump Noah (sign of acceptance) but he didn't really care much for him either. Then, I got pregnant again, and we started having less and less time for Soleil.

When we moved, my parents asked us if we wanted them to keep Soleil or if we wanted to take him. Stephen insisted that we took him back and I had been missing him, so we did. He was good, until Emma was born, everything was fine. Then, we really started running out of time and although we didn't neglect Soleil, we probably gave him the bare minimum of attention. He started peeing on the kid’s clothes. Eventually he started to bite Emma’s feet when she was playing. That was our first red flag. I watched the kid’s closer and he didn't bite them again.

Then, at the beginning of the year, Soleil scratched Noah badly. I wasn't there to see what had happened but no matter what did happen; Soleil should have fled if he thought he was in danger. He didn't. He preferred to stay there and scratch it. I decided Soleil was going. Then, last minute, Stephen made me change my mind. He kept saying that Soleil was the first “thing” we got as a couple, that he didn't want to give him away. I understand… Fine.

Then, a few weeks later, he started peeing on the children’s stroller, clothes, sofa… The whole playroom smelt like cat pee. There was no way we were keeping him. I told Stephen; we are giving him away as soon as possible. It was my decision and I wasn't going to go back on it. I had decided for good. I re-posted on a website to give Soleil away. We mentioned that we’d prefer a couple or single person with no children. A girl wrote to me minutes after the ad was up. She was very interested. She came to see Soleil the next day and took him with her.

Said like this, it sounds easy. It wasn't. It didn't sink in right away (after the ad was put up and the girl contacted). It took a while… I think I started feeling it when we took out the cage for Soleil to go. Soleil went straight into it… It’s almost like he wanted to leave. The kids got to play with him in the cage, they got to say good bye to him. I tried to explain to them that the cat was going away and not coming back but they didn't seem to understand. Noah only really understood when Soleil’s new owner took him into the car. Noah got super agitated and worried. He kept saying “no mommy, no the cat, mommy the cat, come back cat.” God that broke my heart… Then, 5 minutes later, it was all done.

I guess after Noah’s little crisis, the worst part is that Stephen had to work late that day and he didn’t get to say bye to Soleil. I know that isn't easy for him and that he wished he would have had a chance to say good bye.

The new owner and I get really well along. She knows I was worried so she kept me updated. We actually added each other on Facebook where she posts tons of pictures of Soleil. It makes me really happy to see that he’s getting all the attention that he wants. We deeply miss him and I’m not going to lie, writing this does make my eyes watery, but I know it was the very best decision for us all. I couldn't run the chance of having him scratch the kids or hurt them.