Nursing while pregnant

Noah was breastfed since birth. Actually, I think he had 1 once of formula at 5 weeks or so, but really let’s say he was 99.2% breastfed. I was really devoted to breastfeed him as long as I could, so when I learned that I was pregnant with Emma, I kind of freaked out. You read all those articles about your milk changing flavor and your baby rejecting your breast and it really scared me. I think one big advantage was that Noah was really young, so he kind of grew into the “mommy is pregnant and producing different hormones and her milk tastes this way from now on.”

In case you happen to be wondering what it’s like to nurse while pregnant, here are some pin points to know/remember.

•          It’s demanding. Depending on how young your baby is and how frequently your baby nurses, you might be very tired. My mornings consisted of throwing up, nursing, throwing up some more, nursing, throwing up while nursing, lying around until nausea would pass. So if you have the chance to, please nap while your baby naps.
•           Sometimes you’ll feel like stopping. Every breastfed baby goes through some weird phases. Like, suckling just for the hell of it without getting milk out or putting your nipple in between their front teeth and kind of playing with their tongue in it. Yeah, you get it- you’ll feel like it’s no longer worth it and just want to stop. I guess you just need to remember it’s a phase and that your newborn will go through the same phase.
•          By the end of your pregnancy nursing will be quite the challenge. I really encourage you to try out new nursing positions while your tummy is growing so that you can find whatever really works for you when you can barely end over and get up.

Then, there is the FAMOUS question. What happens to your milk when your new baby is born? Do you still have colostrum? Do you have milk right away? Okay, the day I gave birth was THE day I went without nursing Noah for the longest time ever. So, my breasts were FILLED with milk. Then, after birth, Emma went to the NICU, I didn't get to see her for at least 6 hours. I asked the nurse if I could pump some milk to give to Emma. They gave me a little plastic container to get some milk… Ha! I filled it up like there was no tomorrow. The look of the nurse was priceless. My doula had to tell her “She’s still breastfeeding!!!” So, no, I didn't have colostrum. I had milk right away. It was white and had the same consistency as regular milk. Perhaps my body didn't get the memo OR perhaps it WAS colostrum (nutrients wise) but tasted like regular milk… we’ll never know.

Either way, that liquid coming out of my boobs was fattening, that’s for sure. Emma was gaining weight like crazy… and that girl was a GOOD nursed baby. She latched on right away, found the nipple herself and tra la la… She was good (she still is).

So to all you moms out there that are considering nursing while pregnant, kudos to you, you can do it… I know it gets overwhelming at times but it’s doable and it sets you up nicely for tandem nursing. 

Terrible two and Noah is weaned!

The terrible two’s they speak of. That crap is real. “Noah, I’d rather you not.. No Noah, Noahhh No! Come here, get back here, where are you going? What are you doing? That’s not nice, why are you doing this? Why are you hurting your sister? Noooo that’s mom’s hair….” What a week! It’s really been exhausting. The good news is that now, after being strict about the “do’s and don’ts” we are good.

On a lighter note! Noah is weaned. No more boobie milk for him. We had a good 31 months of breastfeeding and I’d like to talk a bit about our nursing experience…

• First, nursing is hard! You know when they say, you just need to put your boob out and put it in baby’s mouth, HAHA. Sounds easy, but let me tell you, there are SO many things that can go wrong. Nursing is an adaptation process between baby and you. Our first 2 weeks were hell. I mean that, I called my midwife at 11h30pm freaking out and telling her I didn't want to breastfeed anymore. She really didn't know what to reply… “well, you don’t HAVE to breastfeed” “ But I don’t think stopping will solve anything.” “Well, I think you’re right Carlinha.” I was right… I’m glad I kept going. After 6 weeks nursing we were good to go… Here are some tips I've learned throughout those two and a half years with Noah.
• Don’t stress on how much you are producing. Seriously, if your child is gaining some weight, peeing and pooping, it’s good.

•         It can take up to 7 days for your milk to come in. Mine came in at day 3 and I think I flooded the whole mattress. If you pump, anywhere from 0.5 to 2 ounces per breast is normal.
•          If doctors pressure you to supplement, don’t be so quick on it if that’s not what you want. You can try pumping, fenugreek and blessed thistle (3 pills, 3 times a day- can take 10 days to kick in- your pee will smell like bacon and you will sweat like a pig by the way), and lastly domperidone (prescribed by your doctor). Your baby’s stomach is about the size of a cherry at birth. With your colostrum (yes you have enough) you’ll be fine to fulfill it.
•       Cracked and bleeding nipples happen. It’s probably because they are either kept moist or that your baby doesn't have the right latch. Oddly enough, my one and only cracked nipple was caused by my husband (don’t ask).
•        Let your boobs loose. You’ll be breastfeeding every 1-3 hours at first. Your nipples will get used, reused and re-reused. They’ll be moist and tender, the last thing you need is a piece of fabric rubbing up against your nipples. Just keep a robe near by the door in case someone comes in and Tah Dahhh!
•            There are tons of breastfeeding positions, do a quick Google search, they all seem uncomfortable at first but after a couple months, I swear you’ll be able to breastfeed a moving child without any hassle.
•           Nursing is exhausting. So make sure you get some time to relax… Take the time you are nursing to just sit down, bond with your baby and zone out.
•           Teething can be painful but seriously, nothing EXTREMELY bad. It’s not terrifying… and yes, it happens that your baby takes a piece of our nipple off (ok said that way it sounds terrifying.) but your baby will most likely be so afraid of your reaction when he or she bites that she or he will never do it again.
•           One day you WILL be annoying with your child’s suckling. Maybe not when your baby is a newborn, but if you extend breastfeed, you might have that “ok, enough, get off, you've been on here for 20 minutes now and you’re not drinking!” It happens, it’s hormonal mostly, it’s your body telling you “Ok, time to wean off!!! You’re ready for another kid!!!” It goes away… Just keep going.
•           Nursing a toddler is challenging. They stretch those boobs like there is no tomorrow. Just a heads up. At the end of the day my boobs used to get pinched and stretched so badly that they’d be all bruised.

I hope these tips are helpful to you ladies… I will soon write about tandem nursing and nursing while pregnant… So keep posted and keep the personal comments coming. 

Tips to parent two children close together

My husband was 22 and I was 21 when we had our first baby. He was planned, waited and wished for and when he was born we were happy but also overwhelmed. We were under the impression that babies were cute and sleepy. We got a perfect baby that was cute but absolutely not sleepy and very colicky. It was hard. Then when I was 3 months postpartum, we learned that I was expecting again. Ha! Well, that one wasn't planned. I remember crying out of fear when the two lines showed up on the test. TWO babies? TWO newborns? How were we going to make it? I’m still not exactly sure how we made it work, but we did… And time flies by so I really don’t know how exactly we made it alive, but we did and here are some tips we remember that hopefully can help a couple of you.

0-6 months of the newborn

•           Have meals ready for you and for your children. We always kept frozen pizzas, tons of pasta and sauce, hams, ready to cook rice and tuna cans. When we were short on groceries or on time we’d easily make a meal out of any of the previous ingredients. You’re looking for something quick and healthy.
•          It can be overwhelming to nurse or give the bottle to a newborn with another newborn/young toddler around. My trick was to read my eldest a story during feeding times. It worked great for us. I’m going to guess any short activity will do the trick. I also tandem nursed sometimes and if you have the chance to experience it, I highly recommend it.
•           If you have two children close together and are at home with them, chances are they will both need to nap. So try and synchronize their naps. While they sleep, please grab some sleep. If you have to work, when you come back home, try and nap for just 30 minutes if you feel very tired.
•           Buy a baby wrap. Wear your babies. I know not everyone (and every baby) likes it but there will come days where you will NEED to clean, cook, go out and that your baby will not want to be put down. So you can either effectuate your chore while hearing your baby cry or wear your baby and do it. I personally loved to carry my babies and so did my husband. I actually still wear them (18 months and 30months!)
•         Remember that your eldest is still very young. When I held my 7 lbs newborn it I felt like my 17 lbs baby was so big. I often expected more of him because he was older but really, he was not even 12 months yet. I had to constantly remind myself that I had two babies, that they both needed attention and that they both needed patience.
•           Start watching a TV show. Pick a TV show you think you’d like and purchase it. When baby wakes up at 2 or 3 am for an hour, put on the show while walking, nursing or rocking your baby to sleep. This was the highlights of my night; honestly, I almost wanted to wake up to watch the show. It was also the only way I wouldn't fall asleep while putting my kid back to bed, so there.

6-12 months

•           Have a playroom or a baby proof room. We sacrificed out living room in order to have peace of mind. We put play mats all over the floor, took off all sharp edges and made it impossible for a baby to get hurt. So when our youngest started to crawl, she could play with her brother in the playroom and not hurt herself mommy would do chores or run around the house.
•           Start to socialize if you haven’t already. You know, get to know other families in your neighborhood and do some activities with them. No one really wants to go out with two very young children (dressing, thinking ahead, crisis) but the more you do it, the more they get used to it and the easier it gets in the long run.
•          Get them on a synchronized routine. Until the 7^th or 8^th month it was hard to get my two kids on the same routine. My youngest used to get tired more often, my eldest wanted to eat less often, etc. When my youngest was 7 months, it started balancing out and I was able to get them on the same routine.
•           Survive. No kidding, months 6-12 were almost as difficult as months 0-6. I was running on coffee and chips (grabbed here and there). My husband and I barely got any time just for us. When one kid would be in bed, the other one would wake up… It gets better, hang in there.

12-18 months

•         Encourage your children to play together. We try to buy toys we know both children will like. We don’t try to go for what my eldest like and what my youngest like, we just generalize it.
•         Let your kids argue and fight (nicely). The first few weeks (or months) that my daughter grabbed my son’s toys he would freak out. He would yell at her, cry and have a tantrum. Soon enough he realized that he had to share with his sister and kind of let it go. He will be protective of some toys but most toys he will share.
•           Have fun with them. At this age, they are full of imagination; they will participate in any activity you get them into. They are also not old enough to play strategic games that require a lot of understanding. Puzzles, painting, drawing, play doh and blocs work perfectly for us.
•           Let them be independent and make mistakes. Let them eat on their own with forks and spoons, let them get dressed alone, let them brush their teeth. Yes, you’ll have to redo it and yes you’ll have to clean up a lot but in the end they will be more independent.
•           Don’t underestimate them. At that age they grow very fast. What they cannot do one day they might be able to do the next day. So keep trying, don’t assume they couldn't do it a while ago so they won’t be able to do it now.

So far these are the outlines of how we survive. A year ago, my children were 7 months and 18 months. I wanted to pull my hair out. I never thought I would sleep a full night (I still don’t by the way) and I really couldn't even imagine writing a text this long without my children needing me. Things definitely get better and easier. It’s going to get better and don’t forget to enjoy these years, they go by so fast. 

Baby Ashlynn

This is Ashlynn, the daughter of Breann, a mother I met about 3 years ago in an online pregnancy group. She has two daughters whom she dearly loves. In May 2012 her life was about to change. Breann decided to leave Ashlynn with her biological father and to spend some time with her oldest daughter. It wasn’t the first time she dropped her off at her dad’s and he had shown no signs of being abusive. However that night something tragic happened.

At around 11 pm Breann saw Ashlynn’s father come into her house with Ashlynn in her car seat. She immediately knew something was wrong. The dad was hiding the car seat from Breann and told her that “something was wrong with Ashlynn.” When Breann finally got around looking at her baby she says that  “Ashlynn was blue, covered in a multitude of dark bruises. Her lips quivered as she gasped and fought for air, her blue eyes rolled in her head and she was sweaty.”  She was dying.

They rushed to the hospital. On their way there, Ashlynn stopped breathing. Breann reanimated her while the father drove. As soon as they got there, Ashlynn was taken care of, they got her IV’s and the nurse shook her head and said “this baby is victim of child abuse.” They had to fly Ashlynn to another hospital where they told Breann that “there was no hope of controlling the swelling of her brain and she would need a craniotomy.” After she passed an MRI the family learned that she had severe brain damage and that if Breann choose to keep her alive she would be a vegetable. Breann didn't want to let Ashlynn go. So she told the doctors to do whatever they could to keep her going.

Ashlynn has severe brain damage and skull fracture. She gets fed through a g-tube, cannot hold herself up, has to wear body braces and has to have Botox injections. She sleeps a lot, some days she has seizures and other days she is fine. She is still a beautiful baby.

Ashlynn is now a toddler, she will never be able to grow up to be a regular toddler. 70% of her brain is no longer functional. All this could have been avoided. It happened because of a little moment of anger and it took away years of possible happiness for Ashlynn and her family. The abuser is now in jail for 20 years and will no longer be able to contact Breann and her family.

Remember that if ever you feel frustrated because your baby is fussy, crying, annoying or whatever else, please just put your baby in a safe place (crib, pack’n play, etc) and go to a place where you can no longer hear your baby for 0-15 minutes as you need. Just check on them every 15 minutes and perhaps call help if you need. Do not, in under any circumstances, shake, throw or injure a baby. 

He's romantic after all

You guys know how I keep saying how Stephen is not really romantic? Scratch that. He surprised me big time yesterday. We both had a really busy day and I wasn't expecting us to be able to celebrate our anniversary.  I still cooked a fancy meal (that we had to eat in 30 minutes max before a dentist appointment) and we didn't have time to have desert. Let’s back it up a bit though. When Stephen arrived home yesterday he had that beautiful look on his face. I was, of course waiting by the door and he gave me that “I got something for you” smile. I thought to myself “crap! I didn't get him anything.” At that point it didn't matter much huh? Haha

He didn't even take off his coat and boots that he handed me a beautiful…rock. Yes! A rock. Honestly, what else were you expecting from a mining engineer? Nah, let’s take it back… 8 years ago. When Stephen decided he wanted to go into mining, I must have asked him 10 times “uh dude, you sure?” we weren't even dating and I wasn't too fond of the idea of having him meters and meters underground. Then we started dating and he of course had his mind made up. So, I was going to date a mining engineer… Ok. Scary. Anyways, every time he went to visit a new mine or work in it, he’d bring me back a rock. I have quite a few of them now. He also picks one that he finds attractive (an attractive rock, okay).

It had been a while since he’d actually given me a new rock. Maybe a year or two. So receiving that rock was pretty exciting and emotional. My eyes were teary when I saw it… Then he told me “I found it 2500 feet underground, isn't that cool?” Damn! 2500 feet underground? Mini heart attack… Yeah very cool.

All that to say, the kid is pretty romantic when he wants to. We finished it off with a wine and cheese night when the kids were sleeping while remembering the best memories we've had together. We had a lot a good time really. It was quite the pleasant night… That lasted till the morning.

Before I wrap it up, I’d like to share a story (honestly my favorite) that we lived back in summer 2012. We were on the road (long drive) and I started tearing up. I was about 7 months pregnant and really hormonal. I asked him “Stephen, where are we going? I don’t know where I belong, I don’t know where I want us to build out family. I just… I don’t know. I’m so lost right now.” He smiled and replied “don’t worry.” Don’t worry? Why not! We were then living far away from our families and friends, barely had anyone we knew… He said “Wherever you are, that’s where my life is. It’s not complicated. Tell me where you want to be, our life will be there.” Okay, that was sweet but it didn't take away the anxiety. I just said “Ok, that’s nice but really Stephen.” He took off his wedding band and handed it to me. I started tearing up. His wedding band has “12-12-09 Carlinha-my life” I didn't know he got “my life” engraved in his band. He repeated himself “wherever you are, that’s where my life will be. My vow says so.”

Seriously, isn't he freakin amazing? Gotta love him. I can’t believe how lucky I am… How lucky I was to find him. 

It's been 8 years that mommy and daddy have been together

Stephen and I met in 2006. It was around Christmas time… I love Christmas time. I was 16 about to turn 17. It was a busy time of the year of course. We both had to celebrate the holidays with our families but we still couldn't stop chatting, emailing and texting each other. Soon enough, Stephen became my math and chemistry tutor. He did a great job but I was more interested in the tutor than the material itself. Anyways, we always had that special connection but we were both dating at the time and agreed to just be friends. Stephen came to my graduation and we then attended the same college. We’d often see each other and the connection we had just kept growing. We often said that we knew “we’d end up together forever someday” but that when we’d get together it would be serious. Here is a picture of us when we met…

                                          

Attending the same college didn't help our case. We’d study together, wait for each other to finish school, Stephen would pick me up after classes with his mom’s car to bring me to the metro… Sometimes we’d go to his house to study (yeah he lived really close by). We were just getting more and more attracted to each other. By the beginning of 2008, Stephen was single and I was… well almost single. It was a late Sunday night that Stephen called me and told me “you know what, I love you, I love you Carlinha, I just do, I know it, I always have and we knew this would be coming.” To which I replied “yeah, I love you too, as a friend.” … And he replied “No, not as a friend, I love you like I’d love for you to be my girlfriend.” Oh! To which I replied “omg! I love you!” This is our first picture we took as an “official couple.”

 

In June 2008, we went for a really nice date. We took a 5 hour walk. It was a gorgeous day. Not too cold… Not too hot… Nice breeze. At the end of our walk, we went for ice cream. I don’t remember what Stephen had… I had a medium soft vanilla and chocolate ice cream dipped in dark chocolate (yum) I was enjoying my ice cream (and probably had tons of chocolate all around my mouth) when Stephen said “I wish I could go down in my knees but I really cannot move after walking for 5 hours (nonstop may I add.) I asked him “Why would you want to go down on your knees baby?” While taking a huge ice cream bite… He looked at me with his “I’m so in love” look in his eyes and he asked me “will you marry me?” Uhhhhh!!!! “YES!” Actually, it was more of a “yeah… yeahhh! Yes of course.” Yup, we had been dating for about 3 months when he proposed… I’m still not sure what we were thinking… but hey, it worked out.

By then, we were just engaged, we didn't have any wedding date planned and we hadn't announced our engagement to friends just yet. Then, when I turned 19, we decided that we wanted to set a date… We were ready for the bigger step. We set the date for a year later (day I would turn 20.) 2009 was SUCH a busy year. We were both working, we were both in university and we were planning a wedding. When I say planning a wedding… I mean, big reception hall, 9 course meal, 200 + guests and 14 people bridal party (thanks mom and dad.) On top of that, around the time we got married it was also exam time for both of us. Anyways, stressful!

We got married in December 2009. It was a beautiful day, the night was magical. I can’t think of any better way of celebrating my 20^th birthday than to have gotten married to my best friend and now husband.

Our first year of marriage went by so fast. We were so busy (still working and university) that we didn't really have time to think about much. Stephen also did fly in’s and out’s during summer. That summer I also worked weird shifts, so we didn't get to talk much. However, whenever we’d get to be together we’d have tons of stuff to say.

Then, at our first marriage anniversary, we learned that we were expecting our first baby. We couldn't be more thrilled. We had been “not trying not preventing” since we had gotten married. In September 2011 Noah was born. Our whole life was changed. It made us so much stronger as a couple. I thought we were a strong couple before… but after Noah, we just connected in a totally different level. I loved Stephen, the man, the best friend, the husband and the dad. The dad part of him drove me insanely and madly in love with him.

At our second anniversary, when Noah was 3 months old, we learned a BIG news. We were expecting again! Oh god, were we shocked. Emma was not planned and we are still not exactly sure how she happened but she did and it’s what matters. We were worried, SCARED, but happy. I’m not going to lie. 2012 wasn't an easy year. It was my first year as a stay at home mom with a full time working husband, we also moved to the middle of nowhere for Stephen’s job AND I was pregnant. In other words, I was lonely, lonely and scared. When came the time to give birth to Emma everything just changed… It’s like a re-fell in love with Stephen… Wait uh, re-re-refell in love with him. Seriously, he’s a great dad. You should see him with the kids. Not me and the kids, just him and the kids. When he’s alone with them he just becomes that nice, loving, caring, super dad. It’s so freaking hot uhhh nice to see.

2013 was pretty much a calm year. Lots of adapting with the children and Stephen’s job but overall it was a nice year. Stephen is just growing as a person, as a husband and as a father. I’m not sure I've mentioned this before, but Stephen isn't the romantic type of guy. Nope, not at all. However, in the last year, he’s gone out of his way to show us how much he cares, how much he wants us to feel loved and appreciated. I know what whatever he does, he thinks about us first. He puts his interests second to make sure that we have all that we need.

2014 has been good so far. We realize that we might be too focused on the children and not on us. We noticed a kind of disconnection. Our goal is really to work together and focus on our goals. It’s really doable, and I’m sure we’ll succeed. We are also working on vacations… We really need to go on a honeymoon (no we haven’t yet.) Oh! And we started this new diet… It’s going really well so far and we’re losing a lot while still being healthy and motivated. We would like to start jogging soon… Anyways, couple stuff, you know?

All that to say that, 8 years and 2 children later, I’m so happy to be Stephen’s wife. Every day I look at Stephen and tell myself that I’m extremely lucky to have him in my life and to have him as the father of my children. I couldn't dream of a better partner and parent. I hope that every day I show you just how much you mean to me (to us.) Thank you for being that partner that always knows how to make me smile and laugh until I can no longer laugh. Thank you for being that parent that I know will always be there, that I am not worried about and that is responsible enough to take care emotionally and financially of his children… Thank you Stephen, thank you because you accept me, you encourage me and you love me. I could go on and on… But most of all Stephen, thank you for being there, for being there when I mess up (really badly at times), for being there when I’m happy, when I’m sad… Thank you for cheering me up and thank you for reassembling me when I’m falling apart. You are my everything, and all I could possibly dream of. You are my destiny… and I am your life. I love you baby. 

Back to patching and glasses

We had some mixed news yesterday. Emma had been glasses and patch free for three weeks and needed to get a re-evaluation. She didn't really want to cooperate but the ophthalmologist still got all the measures she needed... Emma's eyes are still a LITTLE bit off centered. That means that she will have to wear her glasses all the time again (same prescription at last) and patch once a day.

The first comment that Stephen said was "well, she will get her cute little charming glasses back!" He's right. She's so cute. That being said, right now we are working our best to try and have both of her eyes see the same image. Right now she is only seeing in 2D... 3D is what we want.

Just a little update! Here is to hope.