Noah's new currency

We went to Carter's today to get the kiddos some shoes for a wedding. We get there and I know exactly what to get for Noah (so much less selection for boys- a blessing in disguise), so I just get there and grab his size, try them on and good to go.

Then, for Emma, there are SOOOO many sandals. White, pink, neon green, neon pink, brown, beige, offwhite... Different styles too; open toes, only two stripes, butterflies, flowers, ribbons, gladiators, closed up, etc. I ask her "Emma, which ones would you like?" She picks some brown gladiator ones that happen to go really well with her navy blue dress. Awesome. That kid has a sense of fashion- I tell ya.

While I'm trying the sandals with Emma, Noah goes up to the cashier and asks her "Can I pay for those?" I look at him from the corner of my eye and tell him "Just one second Noah, we're not done." So I see him taking out pinecones from his pockets and handing them to the cashier (we had just been at the park, so he had a handful of them too). I walk over to the counter and laugh it off, I tell the cashier I'll take his shoes and Emma's sandals (at that point she ripped the label and is walked with them all over- win). Noah asks me "Mommy, why can't I pay with pinecones?" I tell him that it's just not an acceptable currency for Carter's and that they only accept cash money or credit cards. He looks at me and says "because you need to work hard to get money?" I smile and tell him "something like that, yeah." He looks at me confused and tells me "but Mommy, I worked hard to get those pinecones.'


Ah damn kid, you're too cute for your own good.

Happy new year!!

2015 is finally here!!! 2014 was definitely a great year to remember but I can't wait to see how 2015 will hold for us! Let's ljust say it's going to be a year full of (good) surprises!

I wish you all a good year with lots of health and success amongst other good things!!!

A new star in the sky

To all the little princesses and princes that left this world way too early, family and friends will never ever forget you. Fly over those who loved you and protect them little Princess.

Halloween 2014!

Noah has been wanting for "Halloween" to happen since June. He would watch spooky cartoon videos and ask us when we'd go trick'n treating. So when it was finally Halloween, he was pretty excited and happy.

We decided to go trick and treating in a near by village where they closed a part of the village to make it haunted. There were tons of kids, tons of candies and lots of entertainment. Noah had an Olaf costume and Emma had a princess dress. Noah kept getting looked at and everyone loved his costume, he was so confused though because in his mind he was just a snowman, he didn't see Frozen, so Olaf for him is just a name. Anyways! It was really fun, the kids were excited and happy, Noah would get scared here and there and Emma got tired of walking but in the end it was a great night.

Then yesterday Emma and Noah had a photo shoot and they were also asking questions to the kids with a microphone. Noah was asked if he thinks that there are animals living underground. So he replies "Yeah." Naturally he's asked "which ones?" To which he replies "hippos." We all had a laugh, when we asked him why he had said hippos he replied "Because hippos live under water, and you have water underground." Clever kid!

Nothing else is new to report, kids are growing fast, Emma is enjoying singing a lot, she loved Peppa Pig's songs and Yo Gabba Gabba. She also counts and all, Noah is doing simple additions and letter recognition. Stephen is doing great, me too... Weight loss is also pretty great and consistent.

The subconscious world

Last night I had this dream that left me uncomfortable. I figured that maybe writing it down would help me process it somehow. Last time I wrote here, I mentioned about friends whom you get along with but shouldn't be friends with. Well it seems to be much more on my conscious than I thought it would be. So let me describe the dream...

I was sitting in a dark-ish room with a big round table. I was sitting in the middle, I looked great... I was wearing that purple silk blouse, my hair was all done, I was smiling and happy. Stephen was at my right, my best friend V was at my left, in front of me was another friend A with his girlfriend, on the right corner there was another friend S and his girlfriend and on the left corner were my friends A and V playing cards. We were having a good time. I was mainly observing and laughing, Stephen was holding my hand and laughing too, V was on her phone... S and his girlfriend were flirting, A and his girlfriend were talking to us... A and V were just playing cards. So anyways, the door of the room was open and my phone rang. Before I could answer a friend R comes in and the room goes quiet. All he says is "Carlinha" and reaches out for my hand. I look at him and by the time I'm about to say something he's gone. I remember becoming anxious but the the feeling was soon replaced with laughter and feeling good. R would pop up here in there in the room. There were a lot of places around the table to sit but he would stand up, remain quiet and disappear soon after. He perhaps showed up and disappeared a good 4-5 times... I even whispered to Stephen "he's lost... I can't grab his hand, he's on his own." I Looked at him and it kind of became very vague as a dream... I can't really recall the rest.

Now, let's interpret that... I don't wear purple that much and certainly not silk, but it's a royal color, so I assume I was the center of the attention there, as if it was my table, my group of close friends... Stephen is really my right arm, V, she's always there also. Then there are friends in front of me, I see them all, I see what they're all doing. Everyone is having a good time, I'm even letting in significant others that I don't know all that much, but I don't seem to mind at all. Then when R shows up, it's anxiety taking over, which is substituted by forgetting about it and think about something else. The thing is... you shouldn't get anxious when friends contact you, however R only seems to contact me when he needs help or when he's in trouble... When his life is turned around. I guess I associate him reaching out as something bad or drama entering my life. Then, as my friends know, he's in and out of my life... He hasn't stayed in my life for longer than a few months without us stopping to talk but he's never really absent. As I said, he reaches out when he needs help. So him just saying my name makes me think he needs me but then he just...goes. I really am a person that is always ready to help, but I cannot help people who refuse to be helped or who don't stick around to get the help they need. I guess he doesn't really...need my help, he just doesn't want to go. He wanders around, doesn't talk to anyone, doesn't sit... As if I'm resilient to introduce him or tell him to sit. Finally, Stephen's words just did it... he's lost, I can't help him... He's a grown up, he needs to do it on his own, I'm not a convenience that is around when he needs it.

I don't need friends like that... I don't have time or energy to handle someone I will never be able to help and whom will just hang around when he needs me and leave when he's fine. I'm not getting anything out of it... My friends aren't getting anything out of it, my family isn't... Why are you around? I think it's time for R to go towards the door in my dream and to close it behind him. I'm no longer worried that he needs me, I know he doesn't.

Lesson; listen to your dreams and to your subconscious ;)

Thanksgiving, doctors and family

A week ago we were celebrating Thanksgiving. We had such a good time, lots of happiness, laughter, FOOD, family and friends. It felt so heart warming to see everyone together having a good time. I'm very thankful for my family and friends, for the peace within all of and all the love. I'm also really thankful for all the stability that I have in my life. It seems so natural to some, but stability is so precious and we don't realize how important it is in our life. Sure we might complain that we're following a routine but a stable job, stable life style, stable family... It's really amazing. I'm also very thankful that we're all healthy, so important.

On the same note, I'm really really really happy to say that Emma's vision is doing GREAT. She is really doing good. Her prescriptions remain the same but her patching is going down to 3/4 times a week for 1 hour a week. So that's exciting. She's finally able to alternate eyes while seeing and keep a fixation with her left eye. She was never able to do that before. So yeah, she's doing great. So so happy. 

On a totally different note! I realized something a little sad this past week. I realized that there are different types of relationships and friendships. That you can get along with someone but that it doesn't mean that you should be friends with that person. I guess I discovered that some people are very good at making you feel like they are there for you all the time but that really only show up when they need help or when it's in their advantage to do so. It sucks, big time... Because you know what? You actually feel like helping them because you feel bad for them, but as soon as they feel better, you're out. I guess you just need to focus on the good relationships and friendships and forget the other ones. Sure, be there for people but don't go out of your way for someone who wouldn't go out of your way for you. 

Oh, and how does one wash a blankie without a crisis? And Stephen, baby, I know you will most likely read this, and I'm sorry but you'd look really really hot with long hair ;) You an borrow mine whenever you'd like- and by the way, thanks for making me happy. I catch myself smiling at memories of you and me. 

We're good! Busy bees.

October 6th. I looked at the calendar this morning and it strikes me. What a bittersweet date. I'm still grieving you, but I don't know how to grieve. It's still an open wound that I am scared to close, because then you'll just go. I know I'm not alone grieving you, that does help. My mom called me this morning and the first thing she asked was "Do you remember what today is?" Of course...

On a much more positive note, the week end was awesome, the weather was great and we got to go outside a lot. We went for ice cream yesterday with the kids and I really think it will be our last ice cream of the season. It was really nice, the kids love McDonald's strawberry Sunday... well who doesn't?

I re-read my last post. ha... I don't think I was any less patient than usual, but when Stephen read that post he looked at me and said "where in your cycle are you??" Yup, he kinda figured me out by now. I'm back to my old impatient self now. Coffee does help. *sips*

Anyways, other than that, I went shopping a bit... Got new jeans because all of my old ones no longer fit (YAY!), I fit in a size 13... Which is amazing because just 9 months ago I was an 18. This week promises to be really full. I'll be leaving in the next few days for a couple of days and I cannot wait to see my family. Like...my whole family. :)

Nothing else to report! Except that I made Salmon Tartar yesterday and that it was de-li-ci-ous.